It is rightfully said by many, “the happiness and excitement of meeting your love overpowers all other emotions”.
Indeed, the love between two individuals is nothing less than magic and especially if you are one of the two individuals experiencing this magic- you are certainly one of the luckiest on this planet, they say. The enthusiasm of the first times, the eagerness of the youth and the charming personality that is simply impossible to resist seems too good to be true; right?
Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. At least, nothing remains fresh and new forever. There have been numerous cases where the couples who have started knowing each other eventually realize that maybe he/she is not the right one for them. One of the most common reasons why couples drift apart is the fact they just grow apart. This is one of the saddest things that could happen to anyone in love.
Your interests, ideas, passions, likes, dislikes, feelings slowly start getting diverted from your partner and you simply fall OUT of love sometimes. That happens because of multiple reasons and not having matching thoughts and ideas is one of the most common reason for it. Eventually many people realize that they are not enjoying their time spent together or have lost the mutual love and respect for each other. Maybe the arguments have increased or maybe you simply don’t feel like even arguing anymore? Or many people also discover that they do not have similar feelings for them any longer or they have developed feelings towards someone else over the period of time. Or simply, you might not want a committed relationship at the moment?
While we are discussing everything about a break up and how to get past that, let us also try to shed some light on some of the most common reasons of break up today. Every situation is understandably different and no two cases or people can be compared to one another, relationship experts however have listed down several reasons they come across that are responsible for the break ups today.
- Cheating/Lying tops the list
- Reduced communication
- Always end up hurting each other over trivial issues
- Increased arguments and disagreements
- Two individuals are totally opposite and can’t stand one another anymore
- One becomes selfish and start thinking only about themselves
- Keeping secrets
- Lost respect for one another
- No more going out together
- Nobody listens
- The love doesn’t feel the same
- Interests lost/The excitement is gone
- Stopped complimenting each other
Breakups are tough to experience
Whatever the reason maybe, it is indeed a very sad situation to be in. Breaking up with someone you loved once in your life is always a painful experience to go through and it’s never going to be an easy one. This is not an easy decision to take and you might be worried if you are going to regret this decision in future.
No matter how tough the decision or situation is, once you have decided to break off ties with anyone, you need to make sure and be prepared for some uncomfortable conversations and hard question-answer sessions. Especially if you are the one who has decided to break things off, you need to ensure that you do it is a respectable way. You obviously do not want the other person to be hurt or think less of themselves.
It is always a great idea to prepare yourself beforehand, and be very clear in your head about everything before you talk to the other person. You have to be very sure regarding why you want to break up and also ensure that you communicate the same in a respectful manner to the other person.
Dos & Don’ts during a breakup
All cases are different and no two situations are same or should be compared to one another. No solution can be customized to suit all situations. However, there are some things you need to take care during a breakup.
Dos:
- Understand what you want and why you want it:
- The other person is definitely going to react. Prepare yourself on what are you going to say next:
- Your good intentions matter the most:
- Honesty is a good thing- but don’t be cruel:
- Remember to meet in person:
- Speak to someone you trust, if that helps:
Don’ts:
- Don’t avoid having any conversation or meeting the other person:
- Don’t rush into saying anything:
- Don’t disrespect the other person:
Things you should say and how to say them:
Some of the examples here you can use when you want to initiate any difficult conversation with your boyfriend/girlfriend:
- Tell them you want to talk about something important
- Begin by saying something valuable about the other person
- For example: I’m sure you know how important you are in my life and you will always be so.
- Explain what is not working out
- For example: But, I just don’t feel right anymore; we are always fighting and none of us are enjoying being together anymore.
- Come to the point
- For example: I want us to be only friends, but nothing more; I want to end things with you.
- Tell them something kind and positive
- For example: I’m sorry to hurt you; I know we will always care for each other; I’ll always remember the nice times we shared.
- Listen to what they have to say, show patience
- Give them space
Break up is certain to have a negative impact on you. There have been several cases where women tend to undergo a severe and chronic depression post their break up, especially if it was a long term relationship. You must be aware of everything that you will experience post the break up so that you are able to protect yourself.
- You will be impacted psychologically; brace yourself up.
- There are also signs of disintegrating mental health after a break up. There is a lot of guidance available nowadays that offer psychotherapy for individuals struggling with depression post break up.
- The physical symptoms are not a joke or myth. Acne as a result of stress is much real and also loss of appetite.
- It is advised that you keep your loved ones and friends close since you will be in constant need of love, affection and motivation.
- Neuroscience and experts have proved that withdrawal of a romantic relationship triggers some brain parts, thus sending signals to your brain that your body is in a physical pain.
If you feel too engulfed with all these emotions, it is always a good idea to talk to an expert. Never try to tackle these strong feelings on your own.
Ending any relation is difficult, but relations help us grow and learn
Whether your relationship lasted for years or for months, ending it is certainly going to be a painful experience. Each person holds a special value in our lives and they teach us many things about ourselves along the journey.
This is our choice and we need to make sure we choose something which is healthy for our mind as well. Take the opportunity of a breakup as a stepping stone to move ahead in your life, rather than being consumed by the experience of it.
Moreover, not mentioning anything about developing your skills while having these difficult conversations.
References:
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
https://medium.com/@girlsdunia2/40-most-common-reasons-of-breakup-in-relationships-in-india-2019-809426e1b213
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