It is human nature to want to love and to be loved, but acting too hastily can lead to some bad decisions. Relationships that should not have been entered, expectations that were lifted only to be shattered, and feelings that were raised only to crash again. It can be difficult to resist falling too hard or too quickly for someone, particularly if you are new to dating or haven’t dated in a long time. It is so simple to become enamoured by this new person you are meeting, and it is perfectly normal, but it is also beneficial to take things slowly.
Do you relate to the following phrases, or heard someone you know say these: “I love the sensation of falling in love”, “I can sense romantic clicks right away”, “I fall in love frequently” or “I leap into relationships easily”.
Chances are, you are an “emophile”. Some people have a tendency for falling in love quickly, undoubtedly, and way more often. Emophilia is the term for such a behaviour, which was previously known as “emotional promiscuity”. A new study looked at the relationship between emophilia and the Dark Triad personality traits of Machiavellianism, psychopathy and narcissism. These characteristics mean differently on their own, but they are all linked by an inclination towards antisocial activities like callousness and manipulation. Read on to find out the dark side of falling in love so easily.
How to stop falling in love so quickly and easily?
Friends are a valuable resource when it comes to assessing relationships. If you have someone you trust who can give brutal advice even though you don’t want to hear it, consider yourself fortunate and take advantage of it. If your friends think you are being unrealistic or losing focus, avoid getting defensive, just listen and remember that you trust them for a purpose.
2.Don’t devote all of your time for each otherGiving away all your time for one person is the quickest way to fall hard. It is understandable when you are in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, you feel like you are in a magical little bubble when you are together. However, if you put in all of your time into that bubble, you’ll sink. Every now and then, get some air. From the moment you meet someone new, you don’t have to go on five dates in a week.
3.Maintain your hobbiesYour hobbies and interests may not seem so important when you sit curled up with your new favourite guy, but they are. You cannot let your hobbies slip by, you need to hold on to the things that are solely yours and avoid straying from them. It might not seem necessary in the first month, but you’ll be glad you kept up with what yo love doing months later.
4.Remember how you felt in previous relationshipsIf you were in previous relationships, this is definitely something to keep in mind. Remember how you’d say you couldn’t live without this person? You probably think it is ridiculous how you even hung out with them when you think about it now. When it comes to new relationships, you either forget that your feelings will change so easily or you tell yourself that you’ve never felt this way before, but in truth, you have. The funny thing about love is that it still feels unique and extraordinary, but you have to note that it isn’t. Falling in love is universal, and most people experience it more than once. But this doesn’t change the fact that you are feeling wonderful and incredible.
5.Don’t disregard their flawsNothing is more terrifying than your friend declaring that their new beau is perfect. Nobody is flawless, after all. We all make mistakes and have strange personality characteristics, and that is perfectly fine. However, if you believe that a person you’re with is amazing and perfect, then you’re not being rational, instead you are falling in love with the concept of a person rather than the person themselves. Its cool if the person you’re with talks a lot or listens to the music you despise, but that’s no excuse to not be with them. Rather than pretending they do not exist, you could grow to love their flaws.
6.Remind yourself that you’d like it to lastThe only real issue with falling too hard and too quickly is that it isn’t everlasting and will almost certainly result in heartbreak. You enjoy spending time with that person and you imagine how wonderful it would be to in their company at all times, but if you really want things to last, you must learn to fit into each other’s lives rather than abandoning your own life. Because this won’t last. So do not think of it as unromantic or holding back, its simply demonstrating how much you care for the individual and how much you want to spend time with them.
How many people fall in love quickly and easily?
According to a eHarmony poll of 2000 people, the average time it took for them to say “I love you” in a relationship was almost four months. For men under 35, it was estimated that one in five men said it in less than a week.
Men take an average of about three months to tell someone they love them, while women take an average of about four and a half months to do so. They also discovered that 39% of men confess love within the first month of dating, compared to just 23% of women. According to 2017 study, 72% of men and 61% of women believe in love at first sight and claimed to have experienced it. It only takes a fifth of a second to make you fall head over heels over someone and create the love sensation. Technically, an hour is all you need with a stranger to fall in love (The Journal of Sexual Medicine).
Will falling in love quickly also lead to early breakups?
One of the most common causes for couples to break up is communication problems. This is evident if you fell in love with someone quickly without understanding one another properly, or setting ground rules for the relationship. In 2018, 72% of respondents said they had been ghosted by their partners, and 65% admitted they ghosted their partner. Couples who meet online are more likely to split up than those who meet in a more traditional setting.
A staggering amount of couples split up within a year or two. According to a survey, 70% of unmarried couples break up after the first year. This is because the first year is when you and your partner get to know each other’s personality and decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Hence, falling in love quickly could most likely end in a breakup since you never took the time to get to know this person, you may have ignored his flaws.
Before entering a relationship, it is important to assess a person’s desires and aspirations. This will help avoid disappointments and hurt feelings. Love is a wonderful thing, and being in a relationship with the right partner can be a life-changing experience.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/202010/do-you-fall-in-love-fast-easily-and-oftenhttps://www.bustle.com/articles/128217-6-ways-to-keep-yourself-from-falling-too-hard
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-long-it-takes-to-fall-in-love
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a27888430/how-long-does-it-take-to-fall-in-love/
https://2date4love.com/relationship-breakup-statistics/
https://www.bustle.com/articles/178263-why-do-so-many-couples-break-up-after-a-year-or-two-9-experts-weigh-in#:~:text=People%20Don't%20Want%20To,re%20all%20in%20%E2%80%94%20for%20now.