Anger never knocks on your door with prior knowledge! It's a feeling...it comes and goes…! Teenagers are 70% more aggressive than any other age group people. They need to be understood well and with the right atmospheric culture, everything can be sorted out.
As per the researchers, 'More than 6 million teens all across the nation are under the trap of anger issues or aggression which further leads them to misbehavior, violent actions, substance abuse, and drugs.'
Experts also say that 'Teenagers between the age group of 13 to 21 are the most difficult to handle. It is because of their impulsive behavior towards everything in life. This behavior is caused due to the hormonal changes, career pressure, sustaining job pressure, getting a valid degree, anxiety caused due to taking up new responsibilities, etc.'
Nothing worth it comes easy in life! We all need to understand by putting ourselves in each other's shoes to deal with the situation better. If teens are impulsive and hold a strong anger tendency we can surely show them the way to deal with it instead of being hard and strict toward them. It will only create a gap between you two.
Teach your teens about the five approach steps to deal with anger whenever they see it coming from the far.
Ethics of American Youth Survey
According to it, there was a survey held for almost 43,321 people falling under the age group of 15 to 18. The survey revealed the following facts -
- The majority of teens show their anger with the help of physical aggression.
- Among the survey folks, almost 52% of the folks used violence by hitting other people in the phase of anger.
- Overall 28% stated that it's okay to hit or threaten somebody in anger if they try to go against them. Among this number, 19% of the folks were girls and 37% of the folks were boys.
Anger Issues in Teens, Harvard Study
According to one of the studies conducted by Harvard, almost ⅔ of the American natives had anger issues or the IED - Intermittent Explosive Disorder. The study find out the following things -
- Every 1 out of the 12 teens is undergoing anger issues.
- Almost 7.8% of teens were going through DSM-IV or CIDI.
- Almost 6.5% of the teens suffering from the IED for at least 12 months underwent treatment for anger issues.
- Almost 37.8% of the teenage folks were treated for the emotional difficulties they were facing.
- The average age suffering from anger issues was 12 years.
- 52.5% of folks out of the 100 IED cases were in urgent need of medical treatment.
- More than 63% of the surveyed teens were found to have been involved in wild violence, and threatening activities harming others.
- The lifetime anger issues were found among the 80.1% of the strength.
How to deal with the A-N-G-E-R Issues in teens using the 5 Step Approach?
With the help of the 5 different approaches and steps, you can control your anger.
Approach 1: Problem Identification
Identify the things that force you to act wildly. Without finding the root cause of the problem, moving forward with the solution won't be effective!
Question yourself the following things
- What's the list of stuff that drives me mad and aggressive?
- How do I feel when I'm under aggression?
- How my body reacts when I respond to things around me in aggression?
- Is it meaningful to react this way?
- Is this way of dealing with things in anger fine?
- Do my actions hurt anybody?
- Is there anything that can be done to solve them?
For example, I'm angry at my father because he didn't permit me to go out for the school tour without completing my school homework.
Approach 2: Make the list of Alternatives before Responding
In this basic step, you develop the 'Self Control' skills and patience. Here, when the feeling of anger arises in your mind, you stop for a minute and think about the possible things that can be done to react towards the things that triggered you in a much polite way instead of showing anger.
Question yourself the following things
- First of all, take a pause and start counting from 1 to 10 at a speed. It is an old trick to lower down your anger.
- What can be done from my end to compensate for my anger and trigger without showing my aggression?
- List down 5-6 ways to handle the situation.
For example, you can think of the ways to solve it -
Positive mindset:-
- I could study well and ask for permission to go on a tour.
- I can promise my father to be regular on my homework from tomorrow and convince him.
- Without wasting a minute, I can complete my entire homework in an hour and avail myself the stamp from him to go for a tour.
Negative mindset:-
- I'll lie to my father and go out anyway.
- I'll be on my way to a school tour and then call him to inform him about this action of mine.
- I could threaten my father and file a case against him.
Approach 3: Evaluate the aftermath of each alternative
In this step, you evaluate the reaction that you will get for each of your actions. Things still work for you if you find alternatives with a positive mindset. But, it may get worse if you work with a negative mindset.
For example, here,
- If you lie to your father, you will lose his trust in you forever.
- If you misbehave and threaten your father, you might get yourself in serious trouble, and nobody afterward, will be there to help you ever after.
Approach 4: Choose the Best Alternative
Once you have evaluated a lot of solutions and their outcomes, choose the alternative which is the best compensation for your anger without letting down the expectations of your father.
Question yourself the following things
- What's the best approach to choose?
- With proper evaluation, you will be able to find the right solution to choose from.
- For example, in the case above you can choose to complete your homework and then get permission. It's a win-win situation for all.
Approach 5: Track your Progress
The last step, it's the final step to act upon the choice you made earlier.
Question yourself the following things
- How was I able to make the best choice for myself?
- Did this strategy work for me?
- Can I use this strategy to deal with all of the situations causing anger?
- Am I getting a sense of satisfaction after making this choice?
Understand and analyze everything with peace of mind!
Dealing with anger seems the most difficult task until you do it! Anger comes without any invitation especially if you are an adult. By shifting your focus to good things or by finding the root cause of the problem, you will be able to find a better alternative to deal with the triggering situation. The only thing you require is control, and awareness of your thoughts, and rest assured is sorted!
Reference
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/deal-with-anger.html