My Husband is on Tinder, how to deal with it ?
So did you find your husband on tinder today, but how did it happen? Are you wondering how you should react after knowing this or if you can recover from this shock ever again? If you are thinking that why did your husband do so, that is; why he cheated on you, then read this article carefully. We have listed down some advice which you can consider before taking any steps against him.
Identifying the first things First
The most significant thing is to learn if this news is actually true! You need to know if your husband actually is using tinder or not. It would be very shameful to confront your husband and later on you get to learn that it was completely a fake news. If you had the news of your husband using tinder from someone else then do not forget to double check it in some other ways. If you have seen the tinder app in his own phone secretly then also try to check if he is using the app or he used the app before your marriage or dating and forgot to uninstall it. But, if you have yourself found your husband on tinder because you are also a user then things are going to change! As you are also on Tinder, that means both of you are having a mutual communication problem. So, it would be better if you sit and sort it out peacefully. Because statistics say that around 12% of marriages end up in divorce because both the partners start seeing other persons and it leads to a mutual divorce.
Else, if you were truthfully in the relationship and it is your husband who cheated on you and you want to make it sure then you can check out for some useful online background check out tool in the app store. It would need some of the basic details of your husband, may be his phone number or phone's model number and it would provide you information regarding his recent communications. You will get to know all the numbers from and to which he has been communicating recently like texting and calling and what are the apps he has been using and which are the online services that he has actually signed up for using and a lot more is there. After all it is always better to move with evidence in hand as you would be in a better position.
Confront him tactfully
After getting all the proofs you need to confront your husband to know the real reason for why he was doing it. You can get some vague replies or you might get to know if your husband is not interested in you anymore because of some real reasons. If you get to know that it was only just a fling or he was over there for some casual friendships then definitely you have a choice in hand to forgive him and you can again work on your relationship to move it to a better place with your husband. Previous studies have shown that many times the husbands start using tinder as they are not getting enough time from their wives and it accounts for 7.3%.
Also it may happen that you get to learn that you have been staying with an unfaithful partner over all these years and definitely you would be shocked, pained, confused, agitated for depression because these other natural emotions come out.
Give yourself sometime and you will start healing
Although it can be an emotional ride of roller coaster for some days, weeks , or even some months and years because it really takes some time for going beyond your unfaithful mate. But don’t just sit years after years by accusing yourself or your marriage! Rather chalk out a plan to start the healing process. You can start yoga classes or join some exercise club in order to release the negative energy from your body and you can also play some sport or indulge yourself in some hobby classes. If you want you can plan out some vacation and go to an old friend. What we want to say is that you just have to promote self love because self love is the way through which 71% of the women have been able to restart their life beautifully after separation.
Avoiding Rash or momentary decisions
Definitely after getting betrayed you are going to be full of rage. Your natural Instinct is going to tell you that you have to get away from your partner. So, think twice before going out with any action which is irreversible! Although taking some revengeful steps would be giving you some satisfaction but it would be temporary. Ultimately it can be wasting your emotional and mental health which would not be helping you to move on.
Playing the victim card over here is not going to help. Also stop trying out the blame game. If you do not want to waste your energy and time over your husband anymore then it’s always better to move on.
Reacting on social platforms
We suggest that it is not a wise decision to react over social platforms by writing about how your husband cheated on you and how much you hate him now. Because in neither of the ways it’s going to help you rather than only gaining some unnecessary attention in your personal life, all the comments from your friends and followers are going to increase your anger and depression. Also posting fake and Happy photos to make your partner feel jealous is also not going to work for a long time because with the passage of time you would be the one who is going to suffer. Rather talk to some real friends personally and do take help from some family members by sharing your mental health conditions.
Look out the legal matters mindfully
Since you are married it’s obvious that you might be having some properties together in both of your names and some joint bank account. So while filing for the divorce talk to a legal advisor carefully and sort out the nominee. If you have any children then you have to think about the matter more emotionally because it would become a sensitive issue then. Generally if your child is under 5 years then the right for your child might be given to you, but if your child is older then his or her decision will also considered to be valid regarding your separation. Definitely keep it in mind that your separation is going to harm your child’s mentality so it’s better to sort out the matters as peacefully, either your decision be of staying together or separation.
As we believe that we women can do whatever we want, the main suggestion that we want to give to you is that you are not alone and you are strong enough to deal with this situation. Always remember that this too shall pass, so as you get over the initial shock you don’t forget to look after your logistic and physical needs. Always remember that your health and overall your existence should never be compromised. Learn to accept the reality and set your priorities high so that you can heal yourself easily.
References:
https://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/10363/dating_and_romance/5_things_you_shouldnt_do_if_hes_cheating_on_you.html
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/has-your-partner-cheated-on-you-this-is-how-you-can-cope-up/articleshow/68232388.cms
https://hernorm.com/husband-cheated-on-me/