Most affairs begin innocently enough with a seemingly innocuous attraction to another person, and both men and women are frequently caught off guard until it is too late. Regrettably, small but noticeable changes in your relationship could indicate that your partner is having an affair. While there is no certain method to tell whether your spouse is being unfaithful because every relationship is different, there are a few general indicators that your relationship is in jeopardy.
It would also be a mistake to assume that any indicator constitutes proof of cheating. People may alter their behaviour or habits out of the blue and do not provide any explanation on why. When things are not going well between you and your spouse, it is natural to question what went wrong. There is no way to tell for sure whether your spouse is cheating unless you question them directly and they are completely honest with you. Trust your instincts, with a clear mind and a close look at the facts, and the truth will surface.
Possessiveness over mobile phone
Cheaters tend to use their phones and laptops more than they used to, and they guard them as if their life depended on it. An unfaithful spouse is frequently protective of his or her mobile phone for fear of their spouse discovering a text message or phone call from a third person. He changes the phone’s lock code or the password for accessing the computer. If he often deletes his call history, which is unusual for him, it might be an indication of an extramarital affair. Another telltale indicator is when he begins accepting calls and walks out of the room, only to become defensive when you approach his phone. Any changes in technology-related behaviour might be a red flag.
Avoidance of sexual intimacy
Extramarital relationships cause men to become estranged from their wives. They avoid difficult discussions and prefer to stay on the surface. Due to a stronger sexual interest in a third party, an unfaithful spouse may avoid sexual intimacy with their wife/husband. Avoiding sex with your spouse might also be a result of shame and, strangely, a desire not to "cheat" on a third party. He may appear fatigued or irritable all of the time, acting remote and aloof. There are a lot of new things in sex that have never been seen before. Sexual activity levels in your relationship might be lowered or raised, which can be a signal of infidelity. Less sex occurs when your spouse is preoccupied with someone else; more sex occurs when they are attempting to mask this.
Sudden attention to physical appearance and grooming
Adultery can be spotted by changes in appearance. One day, he becomes self-conscious about his appearance and plans to join a gym or begin dieting. This could be an indication that your husband is having an affair. If your partner is dressing up, working out more, paying more attention to their grooming, or wearing perfume or cologne on a more regular basis than usual, it could be to attract someone new. especially if your significant other appears to be the same in your presence but looks considerably better for work or specific social occasions.
Unexplained expenses
Charges on credit cards for hotel rooms or spa sessions, as well as unexpected presents like jewelry or lingerie, are all indicators of a prospective affair. If you observe cash withdrawals from your joint accounts that are outside of your partner's normal spending limit or routine. If your spouse is cheating on you, he will almost certainly go out of his way to make her happy. You may also notice him becoming more frugal at home, since he is cutting back on the family's expenditures to make room for his affair partner's expenses. It's not a good indication if you see significant cash withdrawals or proof of purchases from areas you rarely or never visit.
Suddenly more affectionate
A spouse who goes above and above with public shows of affection, gifts, or household chores might be a warning sign. In most cases, a cheating partner does it out of guilt. He may feel obligated to you and will pamper you in every way he can. This has nothing to do with love, but rather with his remorse and as a ruse to get you to overlook the signals of an unfaithful husband. This type of behaviour happens early on in an affair. It's also plausible that your husband is doing this out of love and admiration for you, but if something doesn't feel right, look into it.
Changes in work schedule
Under the pretext of late-night business commitments, an unfaithful partner will meet with the third person late at night. An affair will throw your husband's routine out the window if he was a person of habit and routine. You'll begin to notice inconsistencies in his work routine. His work calendar fills up with more late-night meetings, client dinners, and business travels. He may make excuses for being late or not showing up at all, which might indicate adultery. A cheating partner may also forget things like picking up the kids, birthdays, and other important dates.
Change in attitude
Unfaithful spouses may become irritable or angry with their family members all of a sudden. He or she may also show a significant shift in attitude toward their wives, such as criticising them, seeming grumpy all of the time, and becoming colder and more distant. He may appear worried and quarrel with his partner at the least provocation, yet he used to be a chill man. He could also have an issue with the way you dress or present yourself, as well as how you maintain your home. An unfaithful husband may even criticise everything you do and make comments about your personal decisions. Nothing appears to satisfy a man in love with someone else, and if this is the situation, it's a solid indication that he's cheating. When asked where he is, he becomes defensive and jumpy.
Emotional distance
One significant indicator of an affair is when you notice your partner is not emotionally engaging with you and instead makes reasons to be away from you (Ellen Keller, clinical psychologist). Emotional intimacy is what keeps us attached to our partners for a long time. If your spouse suddenly appears to be less emotionally vulnerable and intimate with you, and does not appear to want you to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate, it's a sign that their focus has shifted.
Accuses you of cheating
One technique used by cheating spouses to conceal their infidelity is to turn the topic around and accuse you of being unfaithful. This can be a method to take the responsibility off of them while also giving the impression that they respect loyalty and they themselves would never cheat (Suzannah Weiss, love coach). Many people use this strategy to deal with their guilt: they try to make themselves feel better by turning the tables.
Someone new they can’t stop talking about
It might be an indication of adultery if your partner starts bringing up a new coworker, friend, running companion, or other acquaintance. It's not unusual for a seemingly harmless encounter to develop into a passionate relationship. Because they are always thinking about their mistresses or girlfriends, many men inadvertently bring up the names of their mistresses or girlfriends in conversation.
Even if your significant other displays all of these signs, he or she is still not cheating. However, these are still signs that something is amiss in their lives and/or in your relationship. It may not be considered cheating, but there is almost certainly something you and your significant other can discuss. At the same time, your spouse may be cheating. Don't try to deal with unfaithfulness on your own. It's a good idea to consider relationship counselling, either together or separately, before making any choices on whether or not to end the marriage.
Sources:
https://www.touch.org.sg/about-touch/stories/details/2018/11/28/10-telling-signs-that-your-spouse-may-be-having-an-affair