An Ultimate guide to relationship for teens from experts 

Dating can be a minefield for young people, from first kisses to ghosting. Here's how to establish a romantic relationship that is both pleasant and healthy. 

Remove yourself from the equation

How do you go from an internet date to a real-world date when you're a teen? According to Charlene Douglas, an intimacy coach and sexual health educator, the first step is to make your conversation more meaningful. "Young people can talk for hours online, so try to keep the conversation moving." Bring those events back to what you have in common, rather than just chatting about celebrities or who said what at school."  Then, according to Hardeep Dhadda, host of the relationships podcast Thank You, Next, introduce voice messaging and video conversations to "see whether you genuinely like the vibe of a person and to check if they're human." Raj Pander, her co-host, suggests watching something on Netflix at the same time. "After you've established that you like and trust this person enough to go on a real-life date with them, ask them."

Prioritize safety.

Check tagged photos on Instagram to be sure they're who they say they are, and meet in a public place, notifying someone when and where you'll be meeting. "Not everyone is a serial killer," Pander argues, "but acting as though they could be is good preparation."

Control your feelings.

Do you feel like you've got butterflies in your stomach? Is your heart pounding? "It's okay to feel that way," says psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Chloe Goddard McLoughlin. "Just say you're nervous to the other person, because I'm sure they'll be nervous as well." "I organise a phone call with a friend prior so they can get ready me," Pander, 37, a self-confessed timid dater, adds. If something goes wrong, we have a contingency plan in place, so if I text them, they'll call me and I can pretend there's an emergency and leave."

Be gregarious

"Try to keep it light and talk about things you're enthusiastic about," Douglas advises, "because when you do, your whole vibe lights up." "Let your date know if you like something — animals, sustainable fashion, or Billie Eilish," Dhadda agrees. If you're holding back or pretending to be someone else, how can someone come to know you?" But there are some no-nos: "I'd be turned off if someone brought up sex on a first date."

Understand how to stop a date

"Be courteous," Dhadda advises. "Think about their feelings; they might have had the time of their lives." "Tell them you had fun – even if you didn't - look at the time and say you'd better get off," Pander agrees. If they message you and ask to meet again, be open and honest while remaining respectful. "You're a wonderful person, but I just don't think we're a good match," Douglas suggests.

You should be able to finish a date properly

Dhadda says, "Be polite." "Think about their feelings; they could be having the time of their lives." "Tell them you had fun – even if you didn't," Pander agrees, "and then look at the clock and say you'd better get off." If they message you and ask to meet up again, be open and honest while remaining respectful. "You're a wonderful person, but I don't think we're a good match," Douglas advises.

Don't get too worked up about your first kiss

"It's part of our cultural mythology that the first kiss is the best," Goddard McLoughlin says, "but for most individuals, it's very average, so don't worry about it." Remember that you should only kiss when you're both at ease and have given your consent. "Saying 'may I kiss you?' may take away the eroticism, but it ensures you have permission and haven't misread signals," Douglas explains.

Before you sext, consider your options

According to a recent Ofsted assessment, 80 percent of girls feel pressured to submit pornographic photographs. "Once you transmit a picture, you have no control over where it goes, who sees it, or whether it's shared," Douglas adds. It can stay on the internet indefinitely if it's shared."

Rejection

 

"Allow yourself to feel that hurt," Douglas advises if you've been rejected. Do one kind thing for yourself every day, and surround yourself with positive people who love you." "Often it's about the other person, not you," Goddard McLoughlin urges, adjusting your attitude.

Ghosting should be avoided at all costs

Ghosting, in Pander's opinion, is proof that someone isn't worth your time and effort. If someone abruptly cuts you off, it suggests they "lacked the courage to conduct an open and honest dialogue with you." "You deserve better." Reframe the experience as a lesson, Douglas advises, despite the excruciating pain. "It teaches you how to be the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with, how you want to be treated, and how you want to feel." You won't recall the person's name in the future. "I can say that since I've been there."

You should not use pornography to educate yourself

According to a recent study, 45 percent of young people who watch porn do so in part to "learn" about sex, but Douglas advises, "Run a mile when it comes to getting educated from porn because it isn't an honest representation." She recommends instructional websites about intimacy, such as climax.com or OMG.com, if you're feeling lost in the bedroom. Yes. If you must view porn, Douglas recommends makelovenotporn.tv, which is "diverse, honest, and courteous." There will be components regarding the value of touch, foreplay, and eye contact, as well as consent." You'll also witness people of various colours and sexualities, as well as actual bodies.

And keep in mind that dating should be enjoyable

It's about meeting new people, forming bonds with them, and discovering what makes you tick. "There will be firsts, laughter, and maybe a few tears," Pander says. "But try to shake off any pressure and have fun." "I now chuckle at my teen dating adventures, and I'm confident you will as well."