I'm 40, have no friends, and I'm stuck in the Tinder jungle!
Spain is becoming more and more of a singles' country. In fact, the number of singles of both sexes in our country continues to rise. According to IPG Mediabrands data, the number of divorced and single persons — that is, those who have never been married – now accounts for 36 percent of the population, with men (52 percent) outnumbering women (48 percent ). There are 14.4 million people without a spouse in total, two million more than a decade earlier, with the Canary Islands, Murcia, and Madrid communities having the most singles to meet. The interesting thing about these figures is that they continue to expand over time, with the average age of a Spanish bachelor being 40 years old.
But why are the 1940s one of the most popular bands in Spain? Is it more challenging for people as they approach or pass the age regarded to be the commencement of maturity? How does a 40-year-old single individual find love? Although capacity limitations and nightlife closures appear to have ceased, singles in Spain at that age were in the same predicament before the coronavirus outbreak.
It is mostly due to changes in social patterns and the spread of technology. Love is now almost exclusively sought via an application on our mobile phone, rather than in a bar or on the dance floor of a disco.
From the bar to the app, there's something for everyone
"My pals are so busy that they barely have time for me." Pilar is a Valencian native. She is 40 years old and has only been divorced for a year. "It's tough to make arrangements with friends when you're a certain age," he says. "It's difficult to make plans with friends when you're a certain age." His pals have children, family commitments... and when they have free time, they seldom feel like socialising. Even if it's just to go to a patio and have a beverage, they find it difficult to get up from the sofa and contact you.
The figures are self-evident: Spain is the world's third-largest user of flirting-related mobile apps, such as Tinder, Meetic, Badoo, and Grindr. This is reflected in Google's search data, which positions our country third in the world when it comes to utilising the internet to meet people or find love, trailing only the United States and Brazil. "It's no surprise; I have a couple of single friends my age, and we've all downloaded at least one app, since how else would we meet new people?" "It's been quite an adventure," Pilar admits.
Friends that are married and have children
David reflects the predicament of thousands of people who enter quarantine, are single, and must, in effect, devote their social lives to the contacts they make through these apps. "I have met new individuals, yes." I haven't made any pals yet, at least not yet. I've come across a number of brief stories that were only told on the first date. Taking the first step to meet in person can be challenging on many occasions. "Many long discussions on the phone have resulted in nothing," he recalls, adding, "At this age, people have very diverse life plans." Your married friends with kids are moving at a different speed than you.
Alternative to Instagram
Casting isn't restricted to the aforementioned apps for meeting people; it can also be expanded to social media sites like Facebook and Instagram, as he has done. Guada, a Valencian of 40 years. "Tinder is great for hooking up, but Instagram allows you to learn more about someone, assess them from different perspectives, and discover what they're like in their everyday lives."
Things aren't any different in the LGTBI world than they are in the heterosexual world. In the end, loneliness is the same when you turn 40 and have a strong desire to socialise but no one with whom to do so. "The pandemic has been a good filter to know who are your friends and who are not," he says. Charlie, a Madrid native. Grindr, Scruff, and Wapo are just a few of the gay-oriented apps on his phone. "I've had sex with a lot of individuals, and I even met my former partner through them, but it's tough to make new acquaintances at this age that will stick." People devote a lot of time to theirs; it was easier when we were younger, and we developed more commitment.
Each user's motivation for using these dating apps is different, and it isn't necessarily sentimental, at least not when they reach the age of 40. According to a survey performed by the Organization of Consumers and Users (OCU), meeting new people and making friends is also a priority for 36 percent of those surveyed, despite the fact that 34 percent prefer to find a steady spouse. In addition, 31% want to have sexual relations on occasion. Furthermore, the majority of respondents believe that the information provided is only moderately (60 percent) or even lowly reliable (20 percent ). In fact, 25% of respondents claim they've come across profiles that appear to be disguising phoney identities, and 33% believe that users of these services can't be trusted. Despite the fact that 67 percent of those polled agree that these apps make it simpler to meet people, especially as they get older, only 29% said they would prefer to flirt on them rather than in their non-virtual world.
Georg Simmel is a sociologist. He claimed that socialisation takes place only when individuals' isolated coexistence adopts defining forms of cooperation and collaboration that lie under the umbrella of reciprocal action. A circumstance that becomes increasingly difficult to discover in people from our immediate circle as we get older, but which, according to the research, motivates us to meet new people through technology in a world where socialisation has not yet reached pre-pandemic levels.