Are you constantly brooding over the past? You might have ‘rear view mirror syndrome’
If you've passed your driving test, you'll understand how important it is to look in your rear-view mirror while driving – it helps prevent accidents, keeps you aware of what's going on around you, and allows you to drive more safely.
But what about off the beaten path? Is our ability to see in the rear-view mirror assisting or hindering us?
• If you're wondering why I'm interrupting your Sunday Netflix marathon to talk to you about rear-view mirrors, please bear with me.
• It's more appropriate than ever in January, at the start of a new year. In fact, it could be something that is limiting your life and causing you stress without your knowledge.
• RMS (rear-view mirror syndrome) is a subconscious phenomenon in which we constantly relive and recreate our past. We incorrectly believe that who we were is who we are, limiting our true potential in the present.
• To put it another way, rather than forging a new path for ourselves, we tend to retrace our steps. The problem is that we are limiting our futures and condemning ourselves to mediocrity without even realising it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• If you're wondering how this works in practise, let me give you an example – and tell you why I started wondering about RMS in the first place.
• I like to think of myself as someone who faces life head on: I go after what I want, I push myself in my work, I set big goals for myself, and I'm always open to new experiences.However, I am constantly constrained by the notion that I lack self-discipline. This was certainly true at school, as it was brought up at every parent-teacher conference I attended.
• I was constantly told that I talked too much, that I couldn't focus even when crunch time was approaching, and that I struggled to get down to work and put in the hours necessary to achieve what I was capable of.
• So, despite all of the evidence of my accomplishments since school, which have been driven by my hard work, I will still give up on something before I've even begun because I'm convinced I won't have the self-discipline to follow through. I limit what I could accomplish because I am too preoccupied with looking in the rear-view mirror to make conscious decisions about the road ahead.
• Another example comes from a friend who recently told me that they turned down a fantastic job opportunity because they had never worked in such a high-level position before and couldn't get past the fear that they wouldn't be able to handle it because of their lack of prior experience.
• Rearview mirror syndrome is not a medical diagnosis, but rather a term used by a variety of wellness practitioners to describe someone who constantly looks to the past as a guide for the future.
• Moving into uncharted territory can cause intense anxiety and rekindle old feelings of low self-confidence; as a result, we frequently turn down incredible opportunities and stay in our comfort zone.
• So, what exactly is going on here? Why, when we are so capable, can't we seem to overcome our past mistakes and look forward? After all, we have free will, so why don't we seem to use it?
• "We can view consciousness as three distinct levels: the conscious mind, the subconscious (or preconscious) mind, and the unconscious mind," says Louise Rumball, founder of the ground breaking next-generation therapy OPENHOUSE and the OPENHOUSE Podcast.
• "We actually only act from our conscious mind about 5-10% of the time." Our subconscious mind actually directs 90-95 percent of our lives. This subconscious mind is thought to be 30,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind."
• This helps to explain what you're up against when attempting to override the decisions and beliefs formed by your subconscious mind.
• "Your conscious mind uses willpower to control day-to-day behaviours, habits, and beliefs, but the conscious mind is powerless in the face of your subconscious's power and influence." "The subconscious is always running in the background," Louise says.
• But, before you start cursing your subconscious mind, remember that it's actually trying to help you – it's just making a mistake.
• "Ultimately, the subconscious mind is trying to keep you safe and comfortable, but it can often hold you back." "That's because sometimes keeping safe means staying close to what you know - and what you know isn't always positive," says Louise.
• "Every stimulus we come into contact with is compared to what we have previously experienced and logged." If we have a bad experience, our subconscious mind records it.
• Every moment of every day, the subconscious mind assesses what is going on around us and communicates with the conscious mind if something needs to be alerted to it."
• So the question is, how can we begin to overcome this process and reclaim control of our lives in order to be the happiest, most fulfilled people we can be?
• "Overriding the subconscious mind is difficult because of how powerful it is," Louise explains. However, once you have a conscious understanding of your subconscious mind, you can release and rewire it.
• There are therapies that can provide you with a'subconscious rewire and reset'; they are based on a kinaesthetic muscle testing experience in which a qualified practitioner taps into your etheric energy field and essentially talks to your subconscious mind. You can figure out what beliefs you have by doing this."
• If, on the other hand, you're eager to get started right away, here's an exercise you can do:
• Whenever a feeling or emotion arises, ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" Why do I think I'm feeling this way? What could be causing this?
• Step back from the emotional reaction and recognise that emotion is simply 'energy in motion' that originates somewhere deeper.
• Knowing that your body is simply wired to protect you – even when it appears to be causing you a lot of problems – allows you to be more compassionate toward the frustrating thoughts, feelings, and experiences you are having.