Woman in your 30’s?How to get rid of emotional baggage?
Want to be get rid of an emotional baggage? Then read it for five minutes
Sometimes the past should be abandoned, yes. Life may be a journey and you can’t carry everything with you. Only the usable baggage.” ~Ha Jin You’ve probably heard of the fear of missing out but what about the fear of letting go? My father was volatile and mentally unstable. Criticism was his preferred method of communication. As a toddler and teenager, I learned to stay my thoughts and feelings locked away and have become an expert at deflecting personal questions. Without realizing it, I carried this habit into adulthood, avoiding any mention my feelings or turning them into a joke. When a lover finally called me thereon , the shock of self-recognition quickly turned to resistance. this is often who i’m , I thought. Why should I change? I plodded on, working as hard as ever to stay my fortress intact. It wasn’t making me happy yet I wasn’t able to change. As I struggled with my desire to hold close hurtful memories and self-defeating behaviors, it dawned on me that i used to be afraid to abandoning because defensiveness was a part of my identity. The problem wasn’t that I had baggage—everyone has baggage—but that it had come to define me. I didn’t know who i might be without it. At that time it hit me: I had to dig deep, discover the person I wanted to be, then act thereon .After I identified that i used to be holding on to the past because it seemed too important to jettison, I discovered that letting go is harder than it sounds. Relaxing a long-held belief isn’t a one-day, one-week, or maybe a one-year process. However, it’s possible. This is the five-step process I discovered: 1. Write an honest list of the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that weigh you down. Grab a pen and notebook, find a quiet space, and spend thirty to forty minutes thinking and writing. it’s important to be honest and write down whatever involves mind. Don’t judge what comes up, just note . 2. Reflect on each item and identify the source of the thought/belief. Travel back in time and see where you picked up these things of luggage . does one fear intimacy because a partner cheated on you? does one dread holidays because your parents drank too much? Acknowledge the painful memories but don’t wallow in them. Write it down and advance to subsequent step. 3. Find a minimum of one positive in each hurtful experience/situation. Look for the bright side in your cloud. for instance , my father’s criticism made me conscious of the facility of words and taught me the importance of speaking with kindness. trying to find the great within the past helps you reclaim your power. you’re not a victim; you opt what you’re taking from that have . 4. Create affirmations to foster change and counteract negative thoughts. Take the positives from step four and switch them into affirmations or statements of intent, i.e.: “I will speak with love” or “I will treat people with kindness.” This puts the stress on positive future behavior and frees you from the past. Make the affirmations tangible: put a reminder on your phone, write them on post-its, or put an inventory on the fridge. 5. Practice patience and mindfulness. It takes time to vary habits, especially once they are rooted in deep hurts or fears. sign up with yourself regularly using journaling or meditation. If you discover yourself shouldering old baggage, make certain to acknowledge it, then gently release it and specialise in your affirmations. Replacing negative thoughts with positive actions will assist you abandoning permanently . There are infinite possibilities for every folks , baggage notwithstanding. Everyone has pain. It’s a part of what makes us who we are. What defines us, however, is how we handle it. one among my favorite artists, Bruce Springsteen, has some wise words on the subject: “You can find your identity within the damage that’s been done to you. you discover your identity in your wounds, in your scars, within the places where you’ve been beat up and you switch them into a medal. We all wear the items we’ve survived with some honor, but the important honor is in also transcending them.” By taking the time to spot and understand our luggage and making a conscious decision to abandoning , we free ourselves to experience life during a richer, deeper, more meaningful way.
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