Why Do I Attract Broken Guys? (9 Reasons Why Damaged Men Are Into You)

Have you ever wondered why people think you have it all (body, brains, and looks) but always seem to attract the wrong type of men? The men simply become toxic, and it's not like you walk around wearing a tee that says "I love toxic men." They are, however, always drawn to you.

 

So, what statement are you making? What exactly are you doing to allow those men access to you?

 

I'm sure you're constantly wondering, "Why do I attract bad guys?" If you do, then this is the article for you. The following are some possible reasons and explanations.

 

9 Reasons Why You Attract Broken Guys

1. Low self-esteem

Insecurity could be one of the reasons you're attracted to damaged men. You don't believe you matter, and you certainly don't believe you deserve a guy who will run to the moon and back just to get you a glass of water.

 

The way you treat yourself demonstrates how others should treat you. When you say derogatory things about yourself, you reveal your insecurity. Now, why should they value you if you don't value yourself enough?

 

Toxic men are drawn to insecure women because they seek validation from them. A guy like that is probably ready to dish out whatever he thinks you deserve. Furthermore, such men avoid women with a strong sense of self-esteem. These women are self-sufficient and can live without them.

 

2. Easily available

Another reason is that you are overly accessible. By availability, I mean that you are easily reachable. It is simple for others to take advantage of you. Perhaps you could describe yourself as tolerant. Tolerance is a positive virtue. However, when it begins to have a negative impact on your relationships, it is time to set a limit on how tolerant you can be. Otherwise, you open the door for people to mistreat you.

 

It's also possible that you're overly nice and friendly. You're too understanding when a guy gets abusive and apologises. And this is another way of saying that whenever he misbehaves, you'll clearly understand whatever excuse he comes up with.

 

3. No set boundaries

Because you don't want to offend your guy, you're not firm enough to set boundaries. Alternatively, you may prefer not to address any issues in the relationship at all. Katie Perry once said in her song "Roar" that she stood for nothing, so she fell for everything. That is exactly how it is. If you don't set boundaries, you open the door for anything to be thrown at you.

 

So draw lines that no one can cross. You must also learn to advocate for yourself. If he decides to leave, well, good riddance. Be prepared to stand firm in your convictions. If you have to, die on that hill. Because he can easily take advantage of you if you compromise your values.

 

4. No idea what you want in a man

You may be treated poorly at times because you have no idea what you want in a man. This is how you attract toxic men into your life. Perhaps you are afraid of dying as an old maid? As a result, you are willing to lower your standards for anyone. Clear your mind. Setting higher standards is not a bad thing unless your expectations are unrealistic. It is preferable to die as an old maid than to be involved in an emotionally draining relationship.

 

5. You are emotionally broken

For some strange reason, broken men are drawn to emotionally broken women. Your previous relationships may have given you a distorted perspective on love. As a result, you are vulnerable in this state of healing from your broken heart.

 

Unfortunately, toxic men are drawn to the vulnerability you present to them. They enjoy how it gives them the impression that they are in command. They can easily manipulate you this way. They begin relationships by being extremely caring. You then fall for this front and believe he is "The One." Then, gradually, they start to reduce their care package. But it's too late; you've become addicted.

 

6. Past experiences

Let me use an example to demonstrate the following point. Assume Abigail was raised in an abusive household. Everything she did was insufficient for her father. He was her only parent, and he blamed her for her mother's death. This is something she has internalised. And she believes that anyone who chooses to date her is doing her a huge favour. This has been said to her several times in previous relationships.

 

So this is all she has ever known and been exposed to. As a result, it is an undeniable fact that the majority of the men she is obligated to date will most likely be harmed. This is due to the fact that it is all she has come to know. For most girls, the hypothetical case of Abigail is a reality. If you are one of these people, seek help from a qualified therapist.

 

7. You love to fix things

You seem to believe that love has the power to change things. Maybe it's because you grew up watching a lot of fairy tales and romantic movies. In those stories, love triumphs overall. So you're with a broken guy, and you believe that continuing to love him will solve his toxicity. Maybe he'll see all the love you're showering on him and change for the better.

 

Males who have been abused usually love attention. They are also aware that they are toxic and should change. And if they know you're a fixer, they also know you're a slacker. They are drawn to the idea of being able to get away with anything. Because you enjoy fixing things, you'll be willing to make excuses for them (and accept their own excuses).

 

However, when someone wants to change, they must first make an effort to do so. They do not request that people change their ways. Unless, of course, it is accomplished through therapy.

 

8. High hopes

There's nothing wrong with having casual sex with guys if you're on the same wavelength. However, if you're hoping that your sexual relationship will lead to marriage, chances are it won't. You're both fulfilling your sexual desires. And if you believe that by giving your body to him, he must be in a committed relationship with you, you are delusory.

 

If you go out of your way to bend your back for him, don't fall for him because he has made it clear (either through actions or deeds) that he does not want to be in a committed union. Worse, you are only opening the door for the damaged ones with bad behaviours to date you. It's no surprise that your previous relationships were with damaged people.

 

9. You love to please people

People who like to please others frequently believe that saying no implies that they are too difficult or that they are not a good person at heart. If you're like that, you'll go out of your way to make people happy. That is a quick way to date toxic guys. They are drawn to your vulnerability. And it is in this manner that they take advantage of you.

 

Answers to some of your questions.

1. Why do I keep attracting toxic guys?

Because you are insecure, you continue to attract toxic men. Again, you have not made a conscious decision to seek out specific characteristics in a man. It could also be due to your overly friendly demeanour.

 

2. Why do I attract emotionally unavailable guys?

Because you are afraid, you may be attracting emotionally unavailable men. You might want to be in a long-term relationship. But you're afraid of getting hurt or changing. You are afraid of having a strong connection with someone. It's also possible that you have low self-esteem and don't believe you're good enough to be in a good relationship.

 

3. Why do girls like toxic guys?

According to one study, toxic men usually seek out women who can stroke their egos. Such men pursue weak women because they know such women will go to great lengths to make the relationship work. Add good sex to this mix, and a weak girl will remain enslaved to her toxic boyfriend.

 

4. How do I not attract a toxic guy?

Know what you want in a man if you don't want to attract a toxic guy. If you believe you lack self-esteem as a result of childhood trauma, seek the assistance of a therapist. Be self-sufficient. Let him know that you can live with or without him. Set boundaries as well. Do not make yourself available to any man.

 

5. How does a man feel when he's in love?

According to research, when a man is in love, he will readily put his woman's needs ahead of his own. He is willing to go above and beyond to make her happy. They can't stop thinking about her. And they are paying close attention to everything she says. Because he loves his lady, a man can easily give up any toxic behaviour.

In Conclusion

If you find any of the situations described above to be similar to your own, do your best to correct them and boost your confidence. Get out of the bind of being stuck with a toxic boyfriend. You must recognise that you, too, are deserving of the best.

 

I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know your thoughts. And please share.​