Congratulations - A huge transition to women-hood, What are the five things to know regarding the women-hood?
The journey of a woman begins from the day she is born into this world as an infant. Her arrival in some places is celebrated with all pomp and huge grandeur and at some places she ends up being abandoned. The journey of growing up as a girl has made many opportunities as well as challenges linked at every stage of life.
The most important and fundamental part in a girl’ life is her Upbringing. The manner in which she is welcomed, heard, understood and motivated since childhood leaves a deep impact throughout her life. As rightly quoted by Abraham Lincoln, “Teach the child to gracefully lose and enjoy winning when they win”. The most sensitive stage of person’ life is their childhood, when they are properly nurtured in their initial stages, they can do wonders and become fearless.
The most important trait in a girl when she is growing, is being fearless and thyself. Another important stage while growing up is that of a teenager; neither a child nor an adult. The stage when they want everything under their control, build their own new world and new peers. It is a natural phenomenon, as they are on the verge of getting Puberty. The mixed phase of a teenager is that of puberty, where a tremendous amount of changes take place in their physical and emotional front.
The stage of puberty is a turning point in everyone’ life, as one is vulnerable and openly exposed to both sides of the coin; good and bad. A proper knowledge, guidance and support is required of teenagers round the clock so that they stay away from the bad aspects of society and focus on the good things.
Here are few important points a teenager especially a teenager girl should know –
1. Physical changes – once the teenager reaches puberty, there are several notable changes in their body, especially girls. With development of mammary glands, enlargement of hips area and commencement of menstruation cycle; proper education should be disseminated to them in schools and at home. The education of such changes makes it easier for the teenage girls to open up and reduces the chances of putting such topics under the taboo category. Other changes like pimples, acne, spots can be observed in both genders. We need to tell them that it is ok to have them and that it can be treated with regular washing of face and ample amount of drinking water.
2. Being Gender sensitive – most of us tend to believe that all types of violence is faced by girls or women only, which is not correct. Boys and men do undergo physical and emotional violence. School going boys are also vulnerable to abuse, torture and mental violence. Both genders should be educated regarding being gender sensitive. Everyone carries the right to living with dignity. Every country should adopt gender sensitive laws, so that it establishes equality in society. The step to being gender sensitive is respecting each other's identity, views, physical appearance and issues.
3. Good touch and Bad touch – the day the infant is born, they are vulnerable since then. As they are exposed to family members, society, etc. proper care should be taken for the child till he or she can understand the concept of good touch and bad touch. Many times, the children become prey from one of their family members only. Due to such occurrences, they undergo a mental trauma. They can neither face them nor take any action against them, which leaves the child helpless. The most vital role in educating the child, especially a girl child is that of a mother and second of the school. A girl child should always get a free environment to open herself up and talk freely to her mother or school teacher regarding her mental health, reproductive health or any kind of abuse she has ever faced. The role of mother and school teacher should be supportive and not suppressive.
4. Proper knowledge about toxins like alcohol and drugs – with the advent of the internet, everything is made available to us in a single click. Every information, good or bad can be found and shared online. When it comes to teenagers, they mostly imitate their peers and under peer pressure perform certain illegal activities like consuming alcohol or doing drugs. In rural areas, even if the internet has not reached, drug abuse and consumption is still seen. The role of parents and school comes into action to educate them and keep them at a distance from these toxins.
5. Internet; A Bane and Boon – teenagers nowadays have become well equipped with gadgets. It has become easier for them to be online and surf than solve a math problem. According to a report, children and teenagers who play video games based on firing and violence tend to get angrier and intolerant with time. The parents need to understand that they don't have to cater all their needs, appropriate use of gadgets should be made. They should be educated about the good and bad aspects of the internet, time they are spending on the internet, etc.
CASE STUDY
The event happened on my annual visit to the village, which our college had adopted. Now the development of primary schools, Anganwadi, cleanliness and potable drinking water was our responsibility. First few days our team was divided into different areas of work and I was looking after the primary section. The enthusiasm of kids was at a different level as they were to get new pencils and notebook on giving the write answer. Nice way of teaching; covers both learning and winning! I observed at lunch time that few boys, merely in standard 3 or 4 went on the back side of the school building. I followed them and what I said was astonishing. They were consuming tobacco and cigarettes. On being caught, they were not guilty or ashamed, they said it was normal for them as their father also consumed it in front of them on a daily basis.
An emergency meeting was called and every other task was put aside. The entire team of 60 people got together to plan a De-addiction camp in the same evening. We got challenges from the villagers, as they came to know about such a camp, they protested, they cut the electricity supply at the place we stayed, carried empty alcohol bottles, etc. But we as a team had no turning back. We conducted the camp, showed them the importance of “de- addiction, repercussions of addiction on them and their family. It has been 4 years since that camp now and every villager residing there has been sober since then. It was a long process with many resistances but the team did not give up until every member turned completely sober.
Here are few important points a woman should know –
1. Choosing a career – every person has a set of dreams which they wish to complete in their lifetime. As parents, their role is to motivate their child – both boy and girl to chase their dreams with full vigor. Being a woman should not put limits to her thoughts, beliefs and principles. The role of both parents and mentors should be full of faith and confidence in her so that she can reach places and climb all peaks in her life. There should be full autonomy in a woman’ decision making; in career, in her personal life. This helps boost her morale and keep her motivated.
2. Holding a self-starter conversation – every woman at some stage of life needs an expert to talk to. Mothers are always a resort in every tough time, but few physical and emotional changes need a veteran. Whenever it comes to reproductive health in a woman, the taboo factor arises, which results in her avoiding expert advice and facing more problems. It is always a good thing to be able to talk to your vet. It can help and make you feel more relaxed and calmer.
3. Whenever a woman says it's right, that means it is – few women out there even before reaching an age of maturity are married off. It’s good to settle in life, but its best when both the partners are ready and not societal pressure. Even after settling down, the urge of a child arises from the family and society, it should have veto of both the couple equally and mainly that of the woman.
4. Switching from Career to taking a break – some of the women leave their careers after the birth of their children. The urgency of a woman to be the sole caregiver should be amended. Both the parents should be made equally responsible for taking care of their children. Due to huge gaps in career, the women do not get to the position they desire and end up in frustration. It is always great to restart a career at any age of life. If not a top most position in an MNC, a small kindergarten and teaching a few kids is also a great start.
5. It's absolutely fine to say “NO” – Intercourse is beautiful when both the partners indulge into it with all the mood and soul. One of the partners not being ok, it’s the responsibility of the other partner to respect their stand and not end up being violent or forceful. Marital rapes end up shaking the whole foundation of the marriage and shatter all the good things.
The things covered here are not only limited to women and teenagers but also to men. It is always a good thing to know your partner, their needs, the issues they are facing, etc. with this a gender neutral and gender sensitive society is created.
REFERENCE - The Guardian and Seventeen.com