Do you know dating in metaverse is hard?
I’m on a first date, but I have my sweats on, without any makeup, my hair is wet and I am sitting on my couch at home.
My
date, Steve, has no body. He has only a floating face and a pair of white hands.
“Weird
to be a white dude,” he jokes. I realized that I have no idea what he really
looks like, how old is he or what his real name is. We are meeting on a blind
date in the metaverse, and my avatar is talking with Steve’s avatar at a
virtual rooftop bar, while I sit in my Manhattan apartment.
Steve
and I were matched up on Foretell Reality, an app that creates VR worlds for
different types of interactions, like therapy, business meetings and, now, date
coaching.
I
prepared for my big metaverse date the way I do for any date: Face-Timing my
best friend, who also resides in New York City. I had absolutely no insights or
prospects to share, which made me a bit anxious. I knew nothing about what the
guy would be like, though before the date began I sent my “dating-verse” coach,
Grace Lee, a summary of what I’m looking for, specifically a man who is
outgoing and career-oriented.
A
few minutes before the date started, I donned my Oculus headset and grabbed my
hand controllers. On the Foretell Reality app, I created an avatar that looked ambiguously
like me, and then went into a private virtual room.
There,
I entered a code given by Lee. It quickly took me to an outdoor rooftop bar
with views of the ocean and a city skyline. It looked like a mid-aughts video
game. I could vaguely hear people’s chatter around me which is a looped track
that plays through the Oculus headset — and when I turned my head, I saw a virtual
bar where a bartender avatar made drinks.
Lee
met me on the roof, where her avatar’s long black ponytail vaguely resembled
the pictures of her I’d seen on Instagram. Soon, a blond male head appeared on
the seat next to me. A floating label directly above his head read Steve.
We
greeted each other, and then Lee explained how to date in the VR world. She had
us looking each other “in the eyes.” VR headsets do not have the technology to
read and display facial expressions, so I blankly stared into Steve’s slightly twisted
and blank animated brown eyes in an attempt to forge some sort of connection.
But I felt nothing and it was just awkward.
Lee
clarified that the lack of facial expressions and full-body language in the VR
world means that we have to depend on our verbal communication. However, we
could use hand gestures to communicate by putting our controllers down and
moving our hands in front of the headset.
Then,
Lee told the plan. She would give us two questions and then disappear out of our
view while Steve and I talked for some time. And, no pressure as all the
conversation would be recorded so that Lee could go back and critique us.
Lee’s
first two questions were “What’s your favorite TV show?” and “How’s dating working
out for you?”
I
talked about how happy and excited I am about the final season of “Grace and
Frankie.” Steve, who had a deep voice that may or may not have been digitally changed,
talked about his favorite anime show, which was of no interest to me.
Then
we got a little personal, and I was a little hesitant. Steve talked about how
COVID, moving and his job have dulled his love life.
“Wish
I had some cool stories to tell you,” he said. I tried my best to make him feel
better, agreeing with him that it had been hard. But in reality, I had lots of hysterical
pandemic dating stories, but I abstained from sharing them. I was worried it
might scare Steve off, of how vigorous my romantic life was. I changed the
subject.
We
then talked about Mike Tyson beating up a fan, Steve’s life and how was it growing
up in Michigan and my family’s love of sports. At some point, we got stuck on
weird topics like talking about debutante balls, and then Lee whispered in my
headset to change the topic.
Then
Lee came back on-screen and played back some of our date to us, where she critiqued
us and noted when the conversation was stuck and when things felt natural and
easy.
Steve
admitted that some of his jokes (like he was teasing me about going to my
friend’s debutante ball) didn’t land and that he depends on comedy to avoid
getting personal.
Lee
told me that I often echoed Steve’s energy and language in a subliminal attempt
to make him feel more comfortable which is a good thing. But, sometimes, I’d
let him talk too long on weird topics.
Then
it was time to end our date. I took off my headset, ending the date. It hadn’t
been a romantic meeting, but it was a learning experience.
And
that is exactly what Lee wants. She doesn’t expect people to fall in love and
connect with users afterwards unless they have requested it — but wants to help
them to communicate better.
I
didn’t ask to meet Steve again — if that’s even his real name or go to bed
dreaming about his floating avatar head. But I am going to use some of what I
learned in the metaverse in real life.