12 Tips for Successful Online Dating.
Many
people have a love-hate relationship when it comes to online dating. Whether
it’s because of people who are using old pictures or lying about how old they
are, or the people you match with never want to meet up, chances there are at
least a few people who have experienced disappointment with online dating.
On
the other hand, many people have had successful experiences when it comes to online
dating. There was a time when online dating wasn’t common but these days, it is
less likely to meet a potential partner in real life than to meet online.
To
have a successful and pleasant experience with online dating, the process needs
a lot of patience and awareness of how you might be hindering it. If want to
increase your chances to have success with the process, consider the following
tips:
1. Preserve your dating energy.
It’s
easy to get tired of using dating apps if all you’re doing is swiping on
matches throughout your day. The more burned out you become, the more drained
you will feel, thus, you will have less energy for potential partners who would
be a good match. So, consider using a dating app 1-2 times/day for a certain
amount of time. This allows you to preserve your dating energy so that you can
be at your best self with the matches you already have.
2. Make sure you are OK before deciding to swipe on a dating app.
Has
this happened to you that you have gone to the grocery store when you’re really
hungry and ended up grabbing everything in sight? Similarly, when you’re
feeling sad, lonely, and hopeless, it’s going to be difficult to make decisions
that are in your best interest. You may overlook red flags or swipe right on
profiles that may not be right with you.
Instead,
consider using a dating app or website at times when you have more energy and
are in the right state of mind, and want to meet new people. If you’re not
feeling good give yourself space for your emotions to clear up and when you’re
feeling more grounded, you can return to the dating apps.
3. Limit the people you are talking to at the same time.
With
online dating, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by many options. Consider the
number of people to talk to at one time without feeling drained. A lot of
people tend to search for more matches before talking to the ones they already have.
This doesn’t allow you to know your current matches and you are constantly on
the search for the “next best thing.”
4. Look for what you find most draining about online dating.
Take
some time to evaluate where in the dating process your energy is draining and
how you can recharge. It can be tiring to scroll through dating apps all day
long. Others feel drained because they are going on a certain number of dates
per week, which can make dating feel like a job. Some other common complaints
in online dating include matches who don’t ask out after a certain amount of
time, don’t respond to their messages for long periods of time or don’t ask
them any questions.
Once
you consider the aspects which are draining of online dating, it can help to
have a game plan for addressing the problem.
5. Include what you do want in your profile.
After
dealing with the same type of situation many times, many people start to focus on
the things they don’t want to include in their dating profile to save time. For
instance, you may add Don’t message me if you do X, Y, Z, or Not here for people
who just waste my time.
Leading
with what you don’t want can come across as negative and turn off potential
partners who could be right for you but they know nothing else about you. So, consider
including information in your dating profile about what you want.
6. Take a break to recharge, take one.
It
can be difficult to have a clear perspective or focus when you’re feeling stuck
or overwhelmed while online dating. If you’re stuck in a dating rut, you may
not experience the fun side of the dating process. If it is starting to feel
like a chore, it may be time to take a break.
Have
you ever chatted with someone or dated someone who was “so over” the dating
process? It is tough to connect with someone on a deeper level if you’re burned
out. Taking a break to recharge can help you increase the likelihood of you
having dating success when you’re ready to go back in. Decide how much time off
you would like to take and find ways where you can recharge during your break.
7. Be honest with yourself about what you want out of the relationship and dealbreakers.
When
you’re honest with yourself about what you want, it can help you navigate
online dating more easily, rather than wasting your time.
Create
a list of your top-five relationship needs and a list of dealbreakers. If
you’re not sure of your relationship needs, consider how would you feel when
you are most loved and cared for in a relationship. If you’re not sure what
your dealbreakers are, reflect on the things you were dissatisfied with you previously
dated and were in a relationship with.
This
list when you’re online dating can help you with the intention and filter out
matches that you are not compatible with.
If
you are looking for a relationship and you’re really attracted to someone but
they have mentioned they are just looking for something casual in their
profile, or you don’t want kids and they have mentioned they do want in their
profile, there is no use in talking to them and waste your time or theirs.
Sometimes,
it may not be completely clear what someone is looking for but once you message
them, you can find out.
8. Do not focus exclusively on one match.
If
you spend a lot of time talking to one match before meeting them, you may get prematurely
attached and overlook the red flags, especially if you are excited about this
person and your potential future. Observe when you focus on someone’s potential
and bring yourself back to the present.
It is still so much you don’t know about this person and investing all your energy
into a match before meeting them can lead to disappointment if it doesn’t work
out and this might not be the case if you were also exploring other dating
opportunities.
9. If you get frustrated, remind yourself why you are dating in the first place.
It
can be easy to lose sight of why you’re dating in the first place if you’re
frequently bored or disappointed with it. Then remind yourself why you’re dating
in the first place, it can help you motivate for a date.
Connect
to the reason why you’re dating in the first place and consider the positive
examples of couples that inspire you. Visualize the feeling when you want to date
and write it down. This can be a powerful reminder of why you are dating in the
first place.
10. Consider whether anything you learned from previous online dating situations could help you now.
Some
people find that chatting on the phone or communicating by video call before
meeting in person can save them time because they might realize they don’t
click with the other person. Others find that asking early on what they are looking
for, doesn’t waste their time.
11. Show your strengths in your profile.
Think
about how your friends or family would describe you to someone else. What are
three qualities or strengths others love about you? See if you can find a way
to put some of that information in your profile.
12. Get feedback from others on your profile.
First
impressions matter, especially when it comes to online dating. Show your
profile to friends you trust or perhaps a dating coach can help you see about
the message your dating profile is sending. They can tell if there is anything
in your dating profile that can be improved. Most importantly, your dating
profile should be authentic.