According to an expert, three signs you might be dating someone with a borderline personality disorder.
People with borderline personality disorder have
been abandoned as children and have grown up fearful that others will forsake
them.
To defend themselves from their fear, they employ
wrath and black-and-white thinking, but this can damage relationships.
Therapy for a long time and connections with people
who have boundaries and compassion can be beneficial.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD)
have a strong fear of abandonment, which can make relationships challenging for
them.
According to experts similar to other mental
health concerns, their underlying anxiety arises from their childhood when they
experienced acute emotional or physical abandonment.
They developed this sensitivity to abandonment and
rejection and go through life trying to make sure that doesn't happen to them
again. People with the illness have low self-esteem and frequently indulge in
verbal and physical self-harm.
A borderline personality disorder affects an
estimated 1.6 per cent of Americans, and it can only be diagnosed by a
healthcare expert.
Black-and-white thinking, hypervigilance, and
uncontrollable violent outbursts could be signals you're in a relationship
with someone who has BPD.
Disagreements escalate into massive fights, followed by begging for forgiveness.
People with borderline personality disorder are
extremely sensitive to both real and perceived rejection.
When their fear of abandonment is provoked by a
quarrel or a partner's behaviour, they often react angrily, whether or not the
threat is real.
An example of a borderline personality disorder
is a patient who phones her partner at 8 p.m. every night. Her spouse
doesn't answer one night, and she anxiously checks the clock, convinced that
her partner is cheating on her and planning to leave forever. She refuses to
accept her boyfriend when he says he forgot to answer. Instead, she insults him
and spreads false information about him.
As a subconscious coping mechanism, people with BPD
might become verbally or physically malicious. Their rage shelters them
from the terror of being abandoned.
In the psyche of the borderline, everything makes
sense because, in the end, you can claim, I pushed you away. You never
pushed me away. It's a method for them to keep their dignity.
After a person with BPD has calmed down, they will
frequently beg their partner for forgiveness. This push-pull dynamic might
persist in their relationships.
They either adore or despise someone; there is no between.
They either adore or despise someone; there is no
between. Black-and-white thinking was also utilised by people with borderline
personality disorder to protect themselves from perceived abandonment or
rejection.
People around them will frequently be viewed as
villains or saviours, leaving no opportunity for subtlety.
People with BPD may go to extraordinary lengths to
exact revenge on someone who they believe has harmed them. They may, for
example, use their position to expel someone from a school or executive board,
file a lawsuit, or disseminate misinformation about them at work, according to
experts.
They are constantly observing your facial expressions and actions.
According to PsychCentral, hypervigilance over a
loved one's actions can also be a sign of borderline personality disorder.
A person with the disorder may be abandoned because
they are continuously hunting for signals, or they may become stuck believing
that their partner's words or gestures signify something they don't.
If you're daydreaming, your BPD spouse might assume
you're bored and worry that you'll leave because it's their fault. As a result,
they may interrogate you extensively about what you're thinking or why you're
doing the way you are.
According to experts, people with borderline
personality disorder can reframe their thinking and manage their behaviours
through long-term counselling and connections with others who establish strict,
yet caring, limits.