A Guide for Dating in Japan.
Dating
can be challenging, but it doesn't have to be. We deconstruct the core ideas of
mainstream dating in Japan so you can avoid potential cultural clashes.
Kokuhaku
Have
you ever thought about what the romantic confessions in manga and anime are all
about? Those aren't just plotting tools. It's known as a kokuhaku (confession),
and it's a popular technique to ask someone to start dating exclusively. In
fact, until one of them admits, many people won't feel like they're genuinely
dating. It's not the same as disclosing your loving intentions when you ask
someone for a date. When you confess your feelings, you're telling the person
you want to date for the rest of your life. In their kokuhaku, some adults may
even think about the possibility of marriage. It erases all of the guesswork
from dating.
Hanging Out
While
group dates are popular among teenagers, the concept of
"friend-zoning" is not. People dislike wasting time, and Japanese
women, in particular, are unlikely to want to hang out unless there is a chance
of romance. What may appear to others as a casual date is given a lot of weight?
As with any relationship, it's critical to be open and honest about your
feelings if you decide you're no longer interested.
Language Barrier
Both
"I love you" and "I like you" are common English
translations of the Japanese term suki desu. English speakers see a major
contrast between "like" and "love," and there's a stigma
attached to professing one's affection and being the first to say "I love
you" for a variety of reasons. However, because there is no such
distinction in Japanese, it may appear that things are moving too quickly when
they say Daisuke desu, which simply means, I truly like you.
Role Reversals
Unlike
in many Western cultures, where man has the pressure of making the first move,
it’s not uncommon or weird for Japanese women to ask out someone they like. In
addition, many Japanese men expect the women to pay for their own way on a date
– yes, even for the first one.
Special Dates, Special Places
Certain
days in Japan have particularly romantic meanings that don't necessarily
correspond to their Western counterparts. Couples can go out for a fancy
romantic supper on Christmas Eve, for example. Some areas are simply regarded
as great spots to go on dates or hang out with your significant other.
Disneyland, for example, is a favorite holiday destination for couples as well
as families.
Valentine’s Day & White Day
Women
offer gifts to men they like on Valentine's Day, but they often give mandatory
chocolates (Giri–choco) to coworkers. As a result, receiving chocolate does not
always imply that someone likes you. In exchange, on White Day in March, girls
receive chocolates from their romantic interests, as well as reciprocal
chocolates from those who got Giri–choco the month before. The price and
quality of the chocolate should reveal the feelings of the giver.