What are the things women should keep in mind before they get married?
Marriage is a very important decision and phase in every woman's life. It is like stepping into another chapter of life. No matter how good or understanding your life partner or in-laws are, there are major changes in your life after marriage. Earlier most of the women were married ahead of their age and didn't know anything about their upcoming life. Also most of the parents were not that comfortable and friendly to talk about married life. Getting married is not just a change in surname or place but also a major change in life. It is not that your freedom is taken or something but you do have to make adjustments and there's nothing wrong about it. But you must not be the only one to make adjustments and changes in yourself because efforts should be equal.
What are the things women must learn before getting married?
Marriage is a union between two people where it is the responsibility of both of them. There are things to ensure before getting married. These are the following things every women must learn:
Marriage laws: In India we have laws under Hindu marriage act which must be known to every woman.
Medical tests: There are a lot of issues that might arise in your marriage at a later date if you're not careful before it. HIV testing for couples is slowly getting more popular in urban areas but it needs to be made mandatory for couples planning on getting married. Marriage means the start of a new family so you must be sure about your medical background as you don't want to endanger your child's life.
To say no diplomatically: A woman must know exactly when and how to say no in a marriage. It does not matter if your husband or in-laws are forcing you or emotionally blackmailing you, if you feel something is wrong, you must be able to state your opinion loud and clear. Once you get married, there will be a load of responsibilities put upon you and you have people to please. You can't please all of them so you need to learn to politely put your foot down when people force you to start doing things without your will.
Basic cooking: Learning some basic kitchen stuff and cooking is important if you don't want to eat junk food from restaurants and hotels every day. Basic cooking so that you don't starve is all you need to know.
Not dragging husband in family fights: If you're facing problems interacting with the family members, first try talking to them calmly and resolving the issue instead of dragging your husband between every argument. Make sure to talk to your husband and ask him to resolve the issue but that too needs to be done in a way that doesn't irritate him.
Communication: Communication is the key to every relationship, it is very important to talk. You should not blame your husband for things not done or for not fulfilling your expectations as he simply doesn't know about it. Instead of complaining, learn to share your wishes and dreams. You are married to him and not to a slave, so if you don't like something he does, tell him. When you communicate and share, you make your bond stronger.
Sex can be fun: Women need to realise that sex can be fun and pleasurable too, it is not just a duty. Opening up to your husband and sharing what you like will make the experience enjoyable for both so try understanding sex and different ways of enjoying. If you're not comfortable with something your husband is doing or you are simply too exhausted, try telling him.
Parents still need you: You might be married off and living separately but that does not mean your parents don't need you anymore. The initial days are the most difficult for both the woman and her family. While you have to manage your new relations and make new friends, you must not forget your old family.
Financially sound: Being independent is one of the most important things. Your husband might have a nice job but you never know what the future holds. If you do not have your own job and are financially dependent, at least learn to save your husband's earnings for the future. If you already have a job, learn how to manage both the accounts and split the money equally.
Better half: Marriage is a beautiful journey of two people and both of them are equally responsible for its success or failure. Women can't just sit back and blame the men for everything. They are equal part of the marriage and a better half of their husband. It requires her ability as well in resolving conflicts that will take the family through times of crises.
Marriage is an option not a necessity
As a woman every one of you must know that a man never completes you. You are enough for yourself, you don't need a man for your finances or love. We as a person crave for love, care and attention but apart from all these any relationship requires mutual respect, understanding and trust. If you don't have understanding, you don't have respect and trust as well and hence all other things are just baseless. Marriage is an option, there is no specific rule of getting married once in a lifetime. You can be single if you want. Getting married because of family or peer pressure is one of the worst decisions ever. It is not necessary to get married as you can live your life alone as well.
Conclusion
Marriage is a very important decision and phase in every woman's life. It is like stepping into another chapter of life. No matter how good or understanding your life partner or in-laws are, there are major changes in your life after marriage. As a woman every one of you must know that a man never completes you. You are enough for yourself, you don't need a man for your finances or love. Getting married because of family or peer pressure is one of the worst decisions ever. It is not necessary to get married as you can live your life alone as well.
References
https://www.today.com/health/what-know-getting-married-couples-therapist-advice-t122403