How
Can You Teach Young Girls What A Healthy Relationship Looks Like?
One
of the most powerful subjects you can teach is love. Fortunately, it's also one
of the most straightforward topics to discuss.
If
you're tempted to start a conversation about romantic relationships with
"no dating till you're 30!" you're not alone or completely wrong.
Fathers should teach their daughters about the dangers of love, halt potential
ravishers at the door, and avenge their heartbreaks, according to traditional
thinking throughout history.
While
your position has changed and dad jokes about frightening dates away are long
gone, there are still some serious concerns to be aware of. Identifying these
dangers can assist your daughter in seeing any potentially damaging tendencies
in her relationships and assisting her in avoiding or dealing with them early
on:
The
risks of romantic relationships:
· Personal
identity is lost. Girls can become so engrossed in romantic relationships that
they lose track of their studies, lose touch with their friends, and dedicate
less time to their own interests.
· Distressed
emotions. Fights, disappointment, and heartbreak have the potential to send
girls into a tailspin.
· Sexual
behaviour is dangerous. If girls' relationships get more close, there's a
potential that they'll engage in dangerous sexual behaviour. The importance of
sexual health education for girls cannot be overstated.
· Violence
in the dating world. Internationally, dating violence, including sexual
misconduct, is a major concern.
The foundations of a happy relationship
Some of these building elements may appear self-evident, but you can't assume your daughter will figure them out quickly. Giving her the fundamentals can make a big impact, saving her time and reducing confusion and heartbreak. Here are some qualities that characterise good relationships:
· The
majority of the time, partners in a relationship are happy and fulfilled.
· There
are strong sentiments of psychological security and delight, with little drama
or jealousy.
· Partners
are comfortable with each other. They are not under any need to alter their
looks, values, interests, or other personal features.
· Partners
preserve their individual identities and activities while remaining focused on
their individual objectives and duties, treating their relationship as a minor
aspect of their lives.
· Not
only do partners have a deep emotional bond, but they also have a strong bodily
bond.
· To
voice limits, create trust, and resolve disputes swiftly, partners talk frankly
and directly.
· Partners
complement one other's self-esteem by speaking and acting respectfully to one
another.
· Physical
violence does not exist between partners.
· Partners
conclude their relationships in a courteous manner.
Red
flags in relationships
This
conversation should also include a discussion of potential red flags. Here are
some warning indicators that your daughter should watch out for:
· Feeling
as if a love partner is overly envious.
· When
a romantic partner is controlling or tries to dictate what their significant
other is permitted to do, where they are allowed to go, and who they are
allowed to spend time with outside of the relationship.
· A
romantic partner feels guilty, as if they are unable of doing anything right,
or as if they are frequently "in trouble" with their romantic
partner.
· Any
form of bodily harm or fear of bodily harm.
· Sexual
violence of any kind.
Common
concerns and inquiries among girls
1. Why
does it appear like "everyone is involved in a relationship?"
Explain
that your daughter can feel like she's the only one who isn't in a relationship
for a variety of reasons. It's all too easy to get caught up in what others
have. Many films representing life in middle and high school centre on a love
story, giving the impression that having a relationship in your adolescent
years is something that must or should always occur. And the music that girls
listen to and the Netflix episodes that they binge-watch glorify and showcase
romantic relationships. Because our culture places such a high priority on
partnerships, it's understandable that she could feel like the lone single
person at times.
Make
sure she understands that most individuals start dating after high school and
that relationships don't always happen when we want them to. It's all about
connecting with the right person at the right time when it comes to
relationships. Also, make sure she understands that she is not alone in feeling
like she is the only one without a significant other. Her time with someone
will come, and the wait will be well worth it.
You're
making her feel heard, honouring her sentiments, and soothing her with this
technique, while simultaneously providing data to back up a different point of
view. She might not be in the mood to think about her predicament from a new
perspective right now, but she might reconsider later.
What
is the best way to start a relationship?
This
is a typical question among females. Mention that relationships can start in a
variety of ways. Assist her in seeing the value of spending time with
individuals who make her happy, calm, and confident. Girls can get caught up in
crushes who don't share their feelings or are interested in other individuals.
Encourage
your daughter to pay close attention during these times, noticing whether or
not certain crushes and relationships make her happy. Explain that while you
may not always be able to select how you feel or who you are attracted to, you
can always shift your focus to individuals with whom you feel at ease and who
value you.
Things
I'd like to say:
· I
adore you.
· The
importance of love in one's life cannot be overstated.
· Healthy
relationships can be a pleasurable and fulfilling aspect of life.
· Although
it may appear that everyone else is in a relationship, this is not the reality.
· Relationships
should bring you inner calm and confidence rather than cause concern.
· Never
feel obligated to alter or be uncomfortable in order to make someone else
happy.
· Trust
your instincts when it comes to someone.
· Genuine
love is not marked by jealousy, domineering behaviours, or violence.
· Be
sincere and caring in your interactions.
Things
not to say:
· You
don't start dating till you're 30 years old.
· Relationships
aren't important right now; concentrate on your studies and friendships.
· You're
not old enough to fall in love.
· You
have no idea what love is.
· Relationships
are never successful.
· Every
man is a dog.
Question
to ponder:
In
a song, a TV show, or a movie, the subject of love and relationships comes up. Ask:
· Do
you believe they're talking about love in a realistic way?
· Do
you believe that the media creates reasonable expectations for real-life
relationships?
· Do
you believe the media has an impact on how your friends perceive love and
relationships? How?
· Which
TV or movie pairings do you think are the most realistic? Why?
In
your company, your daughter and her pals are discussing crushes and/or
significant people. Later, ask:
· Do
you believe the majority of people you know who are in relationships are happy?
Or do people become engrossed in the drama?
· Do
you have the impression that your friends are always respectful and considerate
when discussing other people's relationships?
· What
do you believe the best aspects of partnerships are right now?
· What
aspect of partnerships fascinates you the most?
Your
daughter appears to be in a happy relationship.
· What
is your favourite thing of him/her?
· Is
there any way you think being in this relationship is beneficial to you?
· What
do you think you've learnt about relationships thus far?
· What
are the greatest ways for you and your partner to communicate?
Modelling
appropriate relational behaviours goes beyond the discourse
The
example you set when it comes to training your daughter to recognise healthy
relationships and apply healthy relationship methods is crucial. You don't have
to be flawless, but you should model the habits you want your daughter to
develop whenever possible, even when things are difficult. Demonstrate teach
her what it is to treat others with respect and to resolve conflicts in a
compassionate manner. If you have a love partner, be aware of the need of
maintaining healthy relationship dynamics. Because of your acts and behaviours,
your daughter will notice and create expectations for her interactions.