11 ideas for first dates to get to know someone quickly
On
March 1, 2020, I finally downloaded Hinge because I was ready to attempt dating
again after a turbulent relationship ended. About two weeks later, COVID
struck, and dating had to be put on hold, as we all know. However, as humanity
learned to adapt to a persistent pandemic, dating adapted to reflect the times.
It's
simple to think that the epidemic snatched away precious time for you to locate
a spouse, especially if you had specific milestones in mind, like getting
married or starting a family soon. In the early days of the internet, most of
my dates took place online and frequently involved ghosting. But after
receiving my shot, I was prepared for a more serious and intentional endeavour.
It
turns out that many other people are as well. Prioritizing your dating life by
deciding what you want and being open and honest with potential partners from
the start, as well as practising increased vulnerability and mindfulness by
actually letting people into your life rather than hopping from relationship to
relationship, are two of the biggest dating trends of 2022 so far. In other
words, people are making better dating decisions.
Whether
you desire a casual relationship, want to date to learn more about yourself and
what you want from your love life, or are ready for commitment. A relationship
specialist and nurse practitioner believe the first step in effective dating is
establishing your goal. De Oca advised choosing one of those paths and being
extremely clear about it in both your interactions with others and your
personal attitude.
Regarding
any alleged milestones, De Oca advises his clients not to pursue them and
instead to date based on their gut feelings.
Because
we want to be in long-term relationships, De Oca added, "We want to make
sure that we're dating people that meet our relationship goals rather than just
dating people that are going to bring us to our goals."
De
Oca advises making the most of the time before a first date, particularly if
you're online dating, to carry out an effective dating life. He advises
speaking with someone over the phone or FaceTime and being thoughtful about the
questions you ask. As an illustration, De Oca suggests asking the person how
loving they are if you are aware that your love language is physical touch. Instead
of blindly chatting with people and just saying "Good morning" and
"What's up," use this time to pre-screen them and get to know them.
When
you finally go on that first date, you have a great chance to learn a lot about
whether or not the other person is a suitable match for what you're searching
for. But if you want to date effectively, you shouldn't go on any first date;
some dates are considerably better than others for fast getting to know someone.
One
date won't offer you the full picture of someone, but if you know what you're
looking for, what character characteristics you value in a partner, and what
makes you uncomfortable, these first dates can speed up the process. Just keep
in mind to create your dating objectives and keep them in mind when on dates.
1. Drinks and Dinner
The
classic date involves dinner and drinks for a reason. According to De Oca, if
you're attempting to date effectively, "anything that promotes dialogue,
any type of situation where you could lean into one another and get to know one
other" makes for a fantastic first date. It's a gold mine of information:
All you actually need to do is converse while you're seated across from one
another (and eat). Dinner and drinks are a great option if you want to discover
more about the person, including how they carry themselves in conversation, how
they eat (preferably with their mouth shut), and how they interact with the wait
staff.
2. Observing people at the park
It's
entertaining to observe people, but it may also be a terrific test. You can
judge your date's judgmental tendencies, how they speak about other people, and
whether they make humorous comments or act bullishly. (Seek out someone who
isn't just being cruel about someone's appearance, but has something witty to
say about how someone is behaving with their dog.) Additionally, witnessing
other people provides you with conversation starters right away, whereas
sitting across from someone at a dining table may make you feel like you have
to dig up conversation subjects from your ass. Without the awkward silences
that result from attempting to slurp spaghetti without appearing ferocious, you
still get the close-up talking.
3. Anything like bowling or mini-golf
Getting
something done helps avoid awkward pauses. You also get a glimpse of the other
person's competitive nature and can determine if they fit the description in
the Hinge question, "I'm overly competitive about: everything."
According to De Oca, engaging in an activity is usually beneficial because it types
of raises the heart rate. Don't focus solely on winning, he advises; you also
want some quiet time where you can actually talk. Instead, consider your date's
personality as well as their sportsmanship.
4. Trivia
Although
trivia is not the truest test of intelligence (I mean, who genuinely knows
what cynophobia is?), it is an excellent test of common sense and
problem-solving skills. Intelligence is one of the attributes individuals
strive for in a relationship. (Cynophobia, by the way, is a fear of dogs.) By
observing how someone responds to pressure, how well they listen to you, and
how the two of you collaborate, you can find out how they deal with mistakes or
when they don't know the answer. After the interview, go out for a drink to
process the questions and engage in conversation about something other than
obscure details you'll soon forget.
5.
Going to Brunch
At
11 a.m., pour someone a pitcher of mimosas to see how they handle alcohol. Compared
to a dinner date, brunch is less stressful but still encourages conversation
and allows you to observe how they treat those who work in the service sector
(and if they offer to pick up the tab, or how well they tip). Brunch fits the
bill for a daytime date, is more enjoyable, and provides you time to get to
know your date, according to De Oca, who dislikes coffee dates because they are
sometimes quite brief. Just be careful not to get so drunk that you forget to
determine whether this person matches your objectives by asking the correct
questions.
6. Comedy programme
A
comedy show, one of my personal favourites, is excellent for sifting out folks
if having a similar sense of humour is vital to you. A second date is probably
not even worthwhile if you aren't laughing at the same jokes. And if they're
laughing at some dubious jokes, you can pretty readily tell what their
principles are. You won't have much time to converse during the performance, so
make plans to meet up somewhere else afterwards to talk about the performances
and yourselves.
7. Bookstore
A
bookshop date will make you feel like the lead character in a romance novel if
you enjoy reading them. Aisle-hopping might elicit conversation about your
interests and subjects you might not otherwise think to bring up. Additionally,
you may determine if they are dogmatic about a particular genre or arrogant
about what they read. If you enjoy each other's company and decide to go on
another date, consider buying a book for each other to read beforehand so
you'll have something to talk about when you do.
8. Cooking Together
Cooking
may definitely reveal a person's genuine character. Making a meal together
displays how you work as a team, much like trivia or activity does.
Additionally, you may see how well they follow directions, communicate (plus
points if you're working in a confined space), and clean up in the kitchen
(which may be useful information for the future). Additionally, there is plenty
of time for private conversations as the dinner is prepared and served.
Naturally, this will need one of you to travel to the residence of the other,
so only proceed if you feel secure and at ease.
9. Skating (ice or roller)
One
of my greatest first dates featured us rollerblading through a Brooklyn park.
This demonstrated to me that the guy was game for anything and that we were
both okay with the possibility of embarrassing ourselves. Going in circles when
skating at a rink gets rather monotonous, which may prompt you to talk to pass
the time. If you want to explore the idea of becoming physical, skating can be
an excuse to hold hands. You may wish to schedule the second half of this
exercise date for when your legs begin to tyre, similar to some of the other
activity dates previously discussed. My date concluded in the park with takeout
food and beverages. We did go on a couple more dates after that, but he ended
up being one of the ghosters we talked about previously.
10. Meet your friends there.
Don't
make this the entire date because you still want one-on-one time with the
person. Instead, have a friend crash the event or make plans to meet up with
pals after the main date activity. You'll be able to see how they interact with
the people you encounter on a daily basis and determine whether they would fit
in well with your existing relationships. This provides your friends with an
opportunity to comment and observe how you behave when you're on your date to
see if they bring out your best qualities. This is also a wonderful option for
a second or third date if you want the opportunity to really be one-on-one the
first time. When that time comes, you'll be more aware of your feelings toward
the person and perhaps have particular things you want your friends to keep an
eye out for.
11. Rallies or protests
You
definitely want a spouse who is equally passionate about activism if you are.
Additionally, bringing someone on a first date to a protest demonstrates your
commitment to your convictions and helps you determine whether they share your
passion for the same causes. On a date like this, it's practically impossible
to avoid discussing deeper topics, so you'll really learn the essence of who
they are as a person. We advise continuing the date with a less strenuous
activity so you can both exhibit your lighter sides.
Conclusion
No
matter what kind of the first date you go on, De Oca advises paying attention
to the actions the other person exhibits. Do they communicate with you in a
consistent manner both in person and over text? Do they exhibit warning signs
that will only deteriorate over time? Or are they giving out strong signals
that call for a second meeting?
One
of my pals once said, "If it's not a 'fuck yeah,' it's a no" when it
comes to dating. A different piece of advice comes from De Oca: "If we're
not overwhelmed with the number of dates we're getting, let's have more second
dates than not second dates," he added. "Let's go on another date if
it wasn't a harsh no."
De
Oca recommends allowing individuals the chance to unveil themselves gradually;
after all, some people require more time to come out of their shells, and if
you're in a rush, you can lose out on someone special.
You
don't have to rush through dates just because you're dating effectively. Have
fun and take your time figuring out what will work for you.