HOW LOVE IS DIFFERENT FROM FANTASY AND REALITY?
Many of us grew up watching typical Bollywood love stories, where in the end everything was sorted and the ones in love finally met. These movies, serials, and nowadays series on the OTT platform have raised the standards of love, friendship, relationships, etc. It has created a whole new dream world for every viewer, making them believe in the quote that “love is blind”. The word love has a wide definition. People love their pets, things, work, friends, family, etc. All this love has a certain extent and does not exceed more than a limit.
Love occurs mutually between opposite genders and even the same genders. It is not a replica of what occurs in movies; it is a feeling, bond, connection, and subtleness. Love is not an exam that everyone has to prepare for, suffer and clear. It is a sound foundation of trust, loyalty, and belief that ensures safety with each other in a growing relationship. Usually, the image of people in love is made skeptical and such that they have committed a crime. Even if we, as humans, have made it to the moon, confessing one’s love towards their own family is a task.
The new generation has made everything available at their fingertips with unlimited internet access. This freedom has no restriction and watch, it can be a bane for a few and a boon for some. The growing and booming world of erotic movies and pornography has hyped the concept of love. More than love, it has just become a tool of sensuality and eroticism. Every couple fantasizes as that about the movie couple rather than keeping it natural.
Every movie is based on erotic scenes or has a few erotic scenes. Because of this, the young generation rushes to watch such shows on the first day of release. The scenes are hyped up so much that it is difficult to replicate them. Because of such scenes, these movies turn to earn more at the box office, get higher views on release in OTT, more chances of pirated copies, and more rating, and recognition in award shows. A few of the most-watched and recommended movies that have aroused fantasies in many generations are The wolf of the wall street, Fifty shade trilogy, American pie, 365 days, etc. All these movies get more attention and focus from the youth audience.
The trilogy of fifty shades was the most awaited film out of any Marvel or DC creations back then. It was more preferred to watch on a personal screen than on the big screen and implement. Love is not dominating, it’s more like being at par and being thyself. A very close friend of mine experienced such things with her partner. Both of them were in love for the past four years, everything went smoothly, and both sides' parents were also affirmative about their relationship and plans. One fine day they both watched the fifty shades trilogy, it was just for fun and entertainment. Little did my friend know what was coming up for her.
After a few days of the movie, her partner started demanding more physical relations than meeting for lunch or dinner. Both were transparent and had each other’s consent when they established physical relations a few years back. But the guy’s eagerness had increased manifold after the movie incident. Being in a relationship and knowing the guy for such a long time, my friend did not refuse it initially. After a few days, the demand increased, and that too without consent. He was more interested in replicating the movie scenes rather than normal intimacy. He was mentally and physically well-prepared for it but did not bother to ask, or take permission from my friend even for once.
After this repetitive event, my friend talked to him directly about this matter. It was for the first time that her partner did not ask for consent or permission for her desire in these years. As soon as she confronted him regarding her dislike of such things on the bed, she was taken aback by his reply. Her partner had been filming this time the entire event, and he too was live with his friends and colleagues. Not only did he breach her privacy but also ruined her image in just a few days. The love, relation, trust, loyalty, and everything drained just due to one movie and the fantasies that aroused from it.
Though we made a cyber-bully complain and she ended things with him and parted ways, this always haunts her like a nightmare. It is an event that cannot be erased from the memories and even hurts more when a person you are in love with makes it happen. All the beneficial aspects and fantasy from the movies and series are scripted. If they are tried to copy by a layperson it should be with due consent and respect. It’s good to have a world of fantasy, no matter if it exists with a guy or girl, but fulfilling these fantasies should be with each other’s support and permission. The entire foundation of love is based on trust and respect, if for a few days one cannot spare time for his or her partner, it can be compensated later, but if either partner does not respect their existence and is not trustworthy, there is no meaning left.
Being in love means respecting each other’s existence. It’s always good to have someone whom you return to. It’s always refreshing to share meals, coffee, gossip, fears, and failures with the one you love because you know that no matter what, they’ll never judge you or put you down. In the highest tides and roughest seas, you know deep down that you’ve got a back to rely on. Love means celebrating together, spending good quality time together, sparing time from busy schedules, working on little things, improving from bad habits, not repeating mistakes done in past relations, and not judging and setting expectations from past relations.
The ICHHORI website is working as an eye-opener in women's rights, health, relationships, etc. It has dedicated work for the women, for the women, and for the women.