What No One Wants to Talk About in Online Dating?

ichhori team

Misogyny in Online Dating: What No One Wants to Talk About

Online dating was supposed to make things easier. Faster connections. More choice. Less awkwardness.

Instead, it’s turned into a breeding ground for casual sexism, harassment, and straight-up misogyny.

If you're a woman swiping in 2025, you already know. This isn’t just bad luck — it’s systemic. And we need to call it what it is.

What is misogyny in online dating?

Let’s not complicate it. Misogyny in dating apps is when men treat women like they’re:

  • Disposable
  • Entertainment
  • Sex objects
  • Emotional dumping grounds

It’s not about bad dates. It’s about patterns.

And most women on dating apps aren’t just noticing it — they’re exhausted by it.

Real stories from real women

You don’t need a research paper to see what’s happening. Just ask literally any woman on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge.

Here’s what they’ll tell you:

  • Men opening with “Send pics?”
  • Getting unmatched after saying no to sex
  • Receiving abuse for not replying fast enough
  • Being told they’re too picky, too fat, too old — just for having standards

This isn’t rare. This is normal on dating apps now. And it’s not OK.

Why this isn’t just a “bad user” problem

We like to pretend this is about “a few bad apples.”

It’s not.

The apps are built in a way that rewards this behaviour:

  • Men can mass-swipe and ghost with zero consequence
  • Women are flooded with matches, but quality is nonexistent
  • There’s no accountability — just screenshots and burnout

And when a woman reports abuse? Most apps give you a canned “We’ll look into it.”

Meanwhile, the guy keeps swiping. Keeps harassing. Keeps getting away with it.

Dating app companies won’t fix this

Let’s be blunt: these platforms are built to make money, not protect women.

They profit from:

  • High engagement — even if it’s toxic
  • More swipes — even if they’re meaningless
  • “Success” stories — even if 90% of people are frustrated and exhausted

They won’t fix misogyny. Because misogyny keeps people on the app longer. And longer time means more ads, more data, more dollars.

So what can women actually do?

You don’t have to quit dating apps. But you do have to be smarter about how you use them — and where you draw the line.

1. Set ruthless filters

Ignore the “keep an open mind” advice.

If a guy gives you bad vibes in the first 2 messages — block, unmatch, move on.

That’s not rude. That’s survival.

2. Use apps that actually screen people

Bumble was built with women-first logic, but even that’s slipping.

Consider private dating communities, invite-only apps, or apps with built-in verification features.

If a platform won’t protect you, protect yourself.

3. Screenshot everything

And I mean everything. Don’t wait until someone crosses the line. Keep receipts — always.

Why? Because if someone crosses into real-life harassment, you’ll need a paper trail.

4. Don’t waste energy trying to “teach” men

You’re not a therapist. You’re not here to coach people out of their entitlement.

Block. Report. Move on. Keep your peace.

We can’t “nice girl” our way out of misogyny

Trying to be polite doesn’t stop predators. Setting boundaries does.

And calling out this behaviour — loudly, clearly, and unapologetically — is how we start to shift culture.

The more we normalise ghosting misogynists, the less power they have.

How this affects mental health

Dating app misogyny isn’t just annoying — it’s traumatic.

It leads to:

  • Burnout
  • Body image issues
  • Loss of self-worth
  • Fear of real-life dating altogether

Women end up deleting the app, blaming themselves, or feeling “too sensitive.”

You're not too sensitive. You’re being disrespected constantly — and reacting normally.

What healthy dating looks like

Let’s flip the script. Here’s what real connection feels like:

  • You feel safe — not anxious
  • You're respected even when you say no
  • There’s mutual effort, not just one-sided chasing

If you’re not getting this — that’s not dating. That’s a digital minefield.

Resources for support

More Real Talk from Ichhori:

Bottom line

Misogyny in online dating isn’t “just how it is.” It’s a real issue, and we need to start treating it like one.

If dating apps won’t protect women, we have to protect ourselves — with boundaries, filters, receipts, and community.

That’s how change starts. That’s how safety starts. That’s how we take back control.

The keyword? Misogyny in online dating. That’s the problem. And we’re done being quiet about it.

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