HOW TO MAINTAIN COMMUNICATION IN LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS?
“Amy would love the pink roses more!!!” Jack was busy talking to himself without noticing that he had already entered the flower shop. It was a big day for both of them. From being childhood friends, planning summer vacation activities, and going to the same college and the same job; Amy and Jack grew together. From knowing each other’ weirdest habits to tolerating each other’s tantrums; they always stuck by.
Amy knew that Jack’s Friday was incomplete without a pizza and Jack always had a pack of chocolate ice cream for Amy’s mood swings. It was like developing a comfort zone with each other. The pink roses and some surprises were for celebrating 25 years of togetherness of Amy and Jack in form of their Engagement!!!!!!
Yes, Jack was all set to propose to Amy today. He could not wait to turn this lifelong friendship into a bond. He was already rehearsing the lines he had prepared for the big day while driving his way home. He clearly knew the answer to the question he was to ask Amy, but this was just a formal gesture or dream sequence for both souls!!!
Amy on the other hand sat astonished and frozen while seeing her laptop. She always had Jack by her side whenever she had to see her results, important mail, etc. She tried calling her, but Jack was busy getting the perfect surprises for Amy. Since childhood Amy was a very passionate, detailed about her work type person and jack was the exact opposite of her; a free soul and live-in-the-present-moment type of person.
The opposite attracts funda did work for these two, they easily went with the flow without questioning anything. In such a perfect world where one had a friend, family, partner, and backbone like Amy and Jack – Jeene ko Aur kya chahiye!!!!!!!! The big day had many big things coming up for each other. Amy had been shortlisted for one of the biggest automobile companies in Germany and she was clueless and excited at the same time. She was already jumping to pack her bags and had visualized her life, the way she always wanted and on the other hand, she had chilled down her spine thinking about the mere fact of live Jack behind and going after her dreams.
The solution to this turmoil was the TED talk session with Jack. They always had this session at regular intervals; be it not getting selected for the school’s team, be it a silly fight with colleagues, be it a casual relationship coming to an end, or even any philosophical question; the TED talks always had an answer.
Jack reached Amy’s place, as usual, to pick her up for a Saturday night. Amy being absorbed in her own thoughts was still sitting and thinking about how to face Jack and how to start the conversation. “A thousand-year” song began in the background and jack was standing at the doorstep with a bunch of pink roses.
Amy came back from the reel world to the real world, she thought Jack already knew the big news. She was just about to say it when Jack got down on their knees and began his self-written speech. “Amy, you’ve always been this wonderful, determined, caring, and crazy person. When I have you by my side, things seem easier, doable, and tolerable!!!! I can’t wait to tell our kids how we’ve made it through all crest and trough of life, how elegantly you bake my birthday cake from YouTube tutorials, how calmly you respond to my drunk calls made to you at 3 in the morning, how well you accept my flaws and make me a bearable person. I promise to become a better version, try to quit weed (smirky smile), and remember our important days like anniversaries, birthdays, etc. Amy, will you tolerate me for the rest of your life???”
A brief silence was broken by a tranquil YES from Amy, this Yes carried a but with it!!!! Jack clearly knew this awkward tone of Amy and he was well prepared for facing the truth also. “Jack, I really love you too, I love the way you care about things, I love how you handle me in sickness and in health, I love the great ideas you share, I love making future plans with you, I love how steady, calm and composed we’ve been this long. Jack, I have to share something". Jack as always grabbed a chair and with all ears heard what she had to say.
Jack clearly knew the goals Amy carried with her like her heart. He did not want to crush the goals, dreams, and determination Amy had in her. Amy on the other hand did not want to leave the so perfect world back and move alone. They both had to find a way forward to maintain the relationship, spark, and love between them. Jack as always with his master plan motivated Amy to accept the offer. He convinced Amy to have a long-distance relationship till Jack applied for a job and visa in Germany. For the time being, Amy would settle in the country and Jack would wrap up things here.
WAYS TO MAINTAIN COMMUNICATION - It was a huge task, different countries, different time zone, work profiles, etc. Initially, both took time out from their busy schedule and texted each other, video called each other, and surprised each other with flowers. As time passed, the workload increased for Amy with more responsibilities. She was unable to receive calls or reply to Jack’s texts. Jack on the other hand sat worried about her and felt missed out. But he did not give up on Amy that easily. Here are a few tips to maintain communication for an effective long-distance relationship –
· Find ways to stay in touch – being in different parts of the world with different time zone makes it difficult to talk daily or be there every time. Instead of a strict timetable, both can try to catch up somewhere in between their whole day. A simple WhatsApp message or Instagram reels or snap can help make the day more tolerable.
· Try to walk in the other’s shoes – long distance relationship is a huge task, many negative thoughts and incidents keep occurring around you and it haunts your personal space too. Instead of overreacting by not giving enough time to the partner, one should put their legs in the other side’s shoe to know the exact picture. Settling in a totally unknown country, keeping up with the job, and studying and doing everything on their own takes a lot of effort. Instead of bursting emotions and anger on the other side, showing compassion can make it a lot easier.
· Trust the time – the long distance can be unbearable at times, but there is no turning back from it. Instead of losing hope and thinking negatively, one can always keep lots of patience, trust and hope that this time will also pass.
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