I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON THE GUY AT MY WORKPLACE, HOW TO APPROACH HIM WITHOUT SOUNDING SELFISH?
The book by John Gray, “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is an entire bible classifying the traits of both Genders lucidly. This New York bestseller book takes us on a tour covering all the aspects one needs to know about the opposite gender. Most of the serious topics are covered in a glee manner in this book, which helps both the genders understand, implement and become gender tolerant.
Men and women differ not only in physical aspects but also in psychological, emotional, and physiological aspects. Men usually tend to go inside their caves when they face an issue and usually refrain from opening up. Whereas women tend to indulge in other’ problem or pain to overcome their own problems. Men usually avoid sharing certain things until and unless it is very necessary. Women already have an intimate group of people where she pours their entire day. Men do not compare their love life with others, they remain happy, content, and satisfied. Women believe in getting one step ahead of their Instagram followers to showcase how much she is loved by their partner.
That feeling of butterflies in the stomach increased heart rate, and sleeplessness has been felt by each one of us. It occurs from the teenager till the day we survive. In scientific terms, it is tagged as an Adrenaline rush and in layman’s terms, it is Love. This feeling brings people to cloud nine and makes everything look perfect and beautiful around them. Love does not occur overnight; it’s not like you’ve seen fault in our stars or the notebook that you realize suddenly you are in love. It is a process; slow, full of patience, affection, and care.
Love occurs when both sides confess and commit to it, but when it is one-sided, with the same feelings and emotions, it is a crush. Usually, we all grew up watching Bollywood and Hollywood movies, where for girls the male actors were the point of attraction and for boys, the female actors increased their heartbeats. The concept of crush begins from there only, I had a huge crush on Robert Pattinson back then in college and desired to have a partner like him or at least a partner who has teeth like him. In reality, I knew I’ll never date a vampire, I had to settle with a normal human with normal teeth and no makeup.
Crush does not have a rulebook or parameters; it can occur towards anyone, any gender. The emotions cannot be controlled while thinking about someone you saw at the bus stop, bakery, shopping mall, or even during your senior in college. The butterflies in the stomach, sleeplessness, desire to exchange numbers or search his or her profile on Instagram, etc. are a few traits of having a crush. As the feeling is one-sided, there are more efforts to be inputted to begin a conversation.
Being in school or college and having a crush on a classmate or junior or senior is a normal thing. But having a crush where you work is risky and a huge thing. The school or college crush can turn into love, friendship, or even a relationship after a few times. The workplace crush can invite a lot of misunderstandings, issues, and rumors if gone wrong. The crushed one can have exists in different categories, it can be on a single person, a married person, a committed person, of the same gender, or even on a married person with kids.
Sometimes people tend to create a crush on someone just to keep up with the trend and not become the odd one out. The loneliness and fear of missing out can make a person fulfill the longing and get someone to talk to. The longing can be due to a lack of people around, past relationships, longing for physical relations, longing for the same emotions from the other side, etc. Having a crush in school or college is more of a playful side one, even if rejection occurs, it is not a big deal. But having a crush on someone at the workplace and confronting it in front of the guy requires a lot of effort and even more effort to receive the answer. If the crush does not reciprocate the same feeling, the grief of rejection and shame to work at the same place is very heartbreaking.
HOW TO APPROACH THE CRUSH AT THE WORKPLACE WITHOUT SOUNDING SELFISH-? First of all, having a crush on someone at the workplace is totally normal. It can be internal, full of fantasies and emotions, it should not hamper your work or relation with other colleagues. Here are a few tips to approach the guy –
· Know the rules – being at the workplace, you are totally bound by the work ethics. You have to commit to the workplace in form of work hours, holidays, etc. One thing that is unusual about many workplaces is the presence of laws like not dating an employee of the same firm, not meeting outside the workplace, etc. We all have contacts of the people at the workplace, we have WhatsApp groups and even meet on weekends behind the rules. If a woman is trying to confront her feelings for the guy, she should be well aware of the rules of the workplace lest she’ll have to lose the job and the crush together.
· Try to know about the guy before approaching – in the case of having a crush, it is usually because one has not got enough attention. With the fear of missing out, one try’s to build a crushing effect on the guy she sees at the workplace. Sometimes it can be hit and try a type of instance but many times it can also turn into a nightmare. It is rather safe to search about the guy online on Instagram, Facebook, etc. to have a basic overview of him. Asking your colleagues about him in person can also help build your decision.
· Casual talks and meets – working at the same place makes it easier to know the routine and free time of the crush. Instead of suddenly asking him out, building a good rapport beforehand can be helpful. The intent to talk or learn something from him can help to know the guy, whether he is committed or not.
· Keep it low-key –workplace crush spreads like a forest fire and when you work at a place that has strict rules regarding such relations, it is better not to come out. Once both are sure and committed, they can declare their dating life. Till then, it should be subtle, natural, and low-key.
One should always remember having a crush or feelings is normal, overburdening yourself and the other side is not normal. You have to mentally prepare yourself for both the good and bad aspects of approaching the crush. If it works, it can lead to dating, relationships, etc. but if it does not work, it should not bother you while working together.
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