SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE - RIGHT OR WRONG?
The book by John Gray, “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is an entire bible classifying the traits of both Genders in a lucid manner. This New York bestseller book takes us on a tour covering all the aspects one needs to know about the opposite gender. Most of the serious topics are covered in a glee manner in this book, which helps both the genders understand, implement and become gender tolerant.
Men and women differ not only in physical aspects but also in psychological, emotional, and physiological aspects. Men usually tend to go inside their caves when they face an issue and usually refrain from opening up. Whereas women tend to indulge in other’ problems or pain to overcome their own problems. Men usually avoid sharing certain things until and unless it is very necessary. Women already have an intimate group of people where she pours their entire day. Men do not compare their love life with others, they remain happy, content, and satisfied. Women believe in getting one step ahead of their Instagram followers to showcase how much she is loved by their partner.
Both partners are in love when they confess their love for each other without any pressure and high expectations. Usually, the female counterpart is more emotional and sensitive in matters of love, friendship, and relationship. Everything gets very easily affected by women more than men. They tend to create their own world of fantasies and dreams for the partner that will arrive or has arrived. Men usually like to keep it simple and sophisticated.
When two people interact, they come to know about each other’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. Frequent meets, chatting, face time, etc. have become means of communication with effective results. The relationship is a two-way process, both genders have to equally input their time, efforts, and emotions. Every movie and series that one might have watched before getting into a relationship might have created an image that relationships are either magical or challenging. But the reality is that relations are what the couple makes it. It can remain magical if trust and loyalty remain. It can also turn challenging if both parties are not on the same page. Relationships are a mutual understanding between both genders, but women tend to suffer, adjust and tolerate more when it comes to relationships.
WAYS TO COMMUNICATE SEXUAL DESIRE - When it comes to women, there are certain ways in which they can communicate about their desires and know their partner's desires without causing any ego issues.
· Have an open discussion – once you know that the marriage event is coming up, partners discuss clothes, venue, and food together. There is this regular conversation taking place between the bride and groom-to-be. If it is an arranged marriage, there might be a gap or buffer till marriage. During this time period, both sides of the couple should talk their heart out. One’s likes, dislikes, fears, etc. is a common thing to discuss, but discussing places to visit after marriage, going shopping together, spending some quality time together, etc. are ways to know your partner. Women should feel free to talk about their menstruation and other physical or emotional issues with their male counterparts. This becomes an ice-breaking moment for them, and one can easily talk about intimacy.
· Keep a common diary or google sheet – even if you might have seen erotic movies or porn, there can be a set of things you want to try with your partner or some things you refrain from trying. Before the first night, it’s always good to share the anxiety, emotions, and fantasy, as it will be memorable. Equal participation is required from both ends so the enjoyment is also worthy. By making notes in the diary or a google sheet, one can always update the fantasy, do’s, and don’ts without any hesitation.
· It’s totally fine to say NO – Intercourse is beautiful when both the partners indulge in it with all the mood and soul. One of the partners is not being ok, it’s the responsibility of another partner to respect their stand and not end up being violent or forceful. Marital rapes end up shaking the whole foundation of the marriage and shattering all the good things. Being in a relationship does not give both parties entire authority over decisions. When it comes to intercourse especially, it should be mutual and full of respect.
In the world of technology and getting everything at your fingertips, the ICHHORI website is keeping up with the needs of readers. The gender-neutral information is creating a space for gender equality addressing women's issues, spreading awareness about specific diseases, likes and dislikes of women, etc. It’s creating a platform where a naïve can get proper and correct information.
Sexual desire is very common between couples in a relationship and those who are married. It is a form of showcasing love, desire, and passion for the counterpart. The act is all about consent, which should be taken from a guy and the girl involved. Gen Z is way ahead of its time, it thinks that relationship gives all freedom and access to the counterpart’s life, whether it be emotional, mental, or physical access. The sexual act holds a lot of importance between couples, it should be talked about often, but it should not be kept under the taboo category and the partner should not be ill-treated while in bed.
Sex before marriage is totally dependent on the couple and should not come under societal pressure and norms. When both partners are sure about each other and know that they’ll be sharing a future together, sex does not create any hindrances. It makes their bond stronger and they come to know about each other more. A few things should be kept in mind when your partner is approaching you for sex before marriage -
Your partner should be serious about the act and should not be flinging or goofing around.
The partner should not pressurize you on the spot decision.
Even after each other’s consent, there should not be a queue of the to-do list, it is an act, not an itinerary.
The partner should respect the decision of a NO also, keeping in mind the female psychology of anxiety, nervousness, etc.
Even after sex, the partner should not only be focusing on meeting physical needs, he should be equally concerned about the female counterpart's physiology like mood swings, periods, etc.
Being a female first and a writer on the second hand, I totally understand the internal turmoil of a woman when she is asked about being intimate with her partner before marriage. It is an adrenaline rush but many things have to be kept in mind, the act is a pleasure in all forms, but the after process like having regular periods, not being blackmailed, not being pressurized by the partner, having the same intact bond which existed before intimacy, etc. is equally important for every female.