WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE GUY BEFORE SETTLING FOR AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE, HOW TO APPROACH HIM AND CONVINCE THE FAMILY?
The book by John Gray, “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” is an entire bible classifying the traits of both Genders lucidly. This New York bestseller book takes us on a tour covering all the aspects one needs to know about the opposite gender. Most of the serious topics are covered in a glee manner in this book, which helps both the genders understand, implement and become gender tolerant.
Men and women differ not only in physical aspects but also in psychological, emotional, and physiological aspects. Men usually tend to go inside their caves when they face an issue and usually refrain from opening up. Whereas women tend to indulge in other’ problems or pain to overcome their own problems. Men usually avoid sharing certain things until and unless it is very necessary. Women already have an intimate group of people where she pours their entire day. Men do not compare their love life with others, they remain happy, content, and satisfied. Women believe in getting one step ahead of their Instagram followers to showcase how much she is loved by their partner.
A girl in her 20s and residing in an Indian society means she is the most eligible person to settle down. All relatives, neighbors, and distant aunties start showing a sudden interest in your life, age, birth date, birth time, horoscope, height, and weight. No one asks about the annual income a girl earns but if she has spectacles, she should probably start thinking of getting away with her eye number or getting used to lenses.
If the proposals are sent through WhatsApp or in person, she has to go through them the same day and prepare her answer. Women don’t get so much freedom regarding why they rejected the guy when he was sarvagun sampan. No one asks the girl her requirements or desire as it is still taboo in Indian society. On the other hand, guys can very easily have left-swiped the biodata saying that the girl is short in height or not fair complexion, or has a lesser degree. If a woman keeps canceling seeing the biodatas, she is suspected to be liking someone else. Asking a girl in her 20s whether she likes someone or not is another taboo, guys can freely speak their choices and marry the girl they love, but for a girl, it’s a huge task.
Arushi, a master's in veterinary science was searching for a job in metro cities. She had achieved a gold medal and was outstanding in her co-curricular activities too. Arushi belonged to a staunch Brahmin family but a very supportive one. She was always motivated by her family to pursue a white-collar career and get settled in a good household. But Arushi had different plans, she did not believe in settling so early, she wanted her career to take flight and reach her zenith before being someone’s better half.
It was almost two years now, and Arushi was doing great with her work and balancing her passion for classical dancing. She went one by one as per her plans. But with age, her parents were now worried to find the right guy for Arushi. Initially, she just mocked the topic and didn’t pay much attention, but now her family was firm about her getting settled. Arushi didn’t have a boyfriend, she was too busy with her work-life balance to spare time for other activities.
TIPS TO APPROACH THE GUY AND CONVINCE THEIR FAMILY –
· Stay regularly in touch – even if it is an arranged marriage, a regular conversation should be in priority. Even if a long talk is not possible, messages, FaceTime, etc. can be very effective in knowing each other.
· Meet as many times as possible – once you both decide to get into wedlock, be sure, to be confident about what is coming next. Without any pressure, both should be affirmative and content with each other. Regular meetings, long drives, coffee breaks, movie nights, etc. are some ways to catch up regularly.
· Plan a long weekend together – even if with family, try to meet for a long weekend. With this, you’ll come to know the better half even better. It can be an ice-breaking moment together, as you have to spend your whole life together.
· Talk your heart out – arranged marriages can be full of shyness and awkward silences, but anyone out of two has to initiate talks, take a step forward and show interest in the likes, dislikes, and fears of the other person. When you regularly talk or meet, you come to know about the decision of your life.
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