HOW CAN WOMEN IN THEIR MARRIAGE SPICE UP INTIMACY?
Many of us grew up watching typical Bollywood love stories, where in the end everything was sorted and the ones in love finally met. These movies, serials, and nowadays series on the OTT platform have raised the standards of love, friendship, relationships, etc. It has created a whole new dream world for every viewer, making them believe in the quote that “love is blind”. The word love has a wide definition, people love their pets, things, work, friends, family, etc. All this love has a certain extent and does not exceed more than a limit.
Love occurs mutually between opposite genders and even the same genders. It is not a replica of what occurs in movies, it is a feeling, bond, connection, and subtleness. Love is not an exam that everyone has to prepare for, suffer and clear. It is a strong foundation of trust, loyalty, and belief that ensures safety with each other in a growing relationship. Usually, the image of people in love is made skeptical and such that they have committed a crime. Even if we as humans have made it to the moon, confessing one’s love towards their own family is a task in itself.
The new generation has made everything available at their fingertips with unlimited internet access. This freedom has no restriction and watch, it can be a bane for a few and a boon for some. The growing and booming world of erotic movies and pornography has hyped the concept of love. More than love, it has just become a tool of sensuality and eroticism. Every couple starts fantasizing as that about the movie couple rather than keeping it natural.
Every movie is either based on erotic scenes or has few erotic scenes. Due to this, the young generation rushes to watch such shows on the first day of release. The scenes are hyped up to such an extent that it is difficult to replicate them. Due to such scenes, these movies turn to earn more at the box office, get higher views on release in OTT, have more chances of pirated copies, and have more ratings and recognition in award shows. A few of the most watched and recommended movies that have aroused fantasies in many generations are The wolf of the wall street, Fifty shade trilogy, American pie, 365 days, etc. All these movies get more attention and focus from the youth audience.
The trilogy of Fifty shades was the most awaited film out of any marvel or DC creations back then. It was preferred to watch on a personal screen than on the big screen and implement. Many couples tried to replicate the scene and see how it felt, more often men fantasize about these kinds of activities. Women in marriages, specially arranged marriages feel awkward in communicating about intimacy, trying new positions, etc. Those who have a love marriage have mostly communicated about this part of the relationship. Apart from menstruation, sex and sexual desires also come under the taboo category. One can watch porn privately but fear talking about it. One can masturbate in private but feel awkward in imparting sex education.
Sex, sexual desires, and proper sex education should be talked about and discussed at least with your partner. It is not a taboo or heinous crime. But recording your intimacy, mocking your partner’s performance in front of your friends, and not respecting their no, is a heinous crime. Intimacy is a mutual thing, you enjoy the most when both are equally involved, communicating and sharing the experience.
WAYS FOR WOMEN TO SPICE UP INTIMACY – intimacy is an art; it is a type of activity that connects two people; heterosexual or homosexual. Even after being in the 21st century, Industrial revolution 4.0, and 75 years of independence, many topics aren’t even discussed at the dining table, in schools, in peer groups, and workplace. If discussed, it leads to misinterpretation, derogatory remarks, and characterless. The topics like menstruation, sex education, sexuality, and fantasy are pushed back to the last seat. When women raise their voices in the above matter, they are tagged and trolled very heavily. Here are a few ways how a woman can spice up her intimacy –
· Always put yourself above everyone – women usually end up tolerating and hesitating in their intimate life. Those who speak up are considered characterless. But it is very necessary to speak your heart out and put your desires on the table. When a woman can select her choice of work, partner, college, and clothes, she can definitely choose the position on the bed and activities she would like.
· Discuss – intimacy is a very distant subject even in couples. Shyness and awkwardness arise at a certain point. Discussing the likes and dislikes of a bed is very necessary and it should not be neglected. Every couple wants a wholesome intimacy with a lot of spice and activities. Women should spare some quality time at least once a week to discuss their likes and dislikes in bed. Intimacy does not mean hard-core sex, it can also include cuddling, kissing, and just hanging around with your loved ones. Intimacy is not like medicine too, that it should be taken daily when ill and stop as soon as you turn fit. Intimacy is all about respecting each other’s boundaries, giving each other ample amount of time, and knowing each other well enough.
· Watch movies together – for newlywed couples or couples in a relationship, the intimacy part is the most awkward moment. If girls speak up first, there is a sense of insecurity and character issues, but it is totally ok for a guy to speak up about his fantasies. When it becomes difficult to talk about intimacy, one can always try other means to spice up their relationship with things like watching erotic movies or series together, playing truth or dare games, imitating a scene from the movie, etc. Spicing up the intimacy portion is a mutual thing, both sides have to put in equal effort to make things work.
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