HOW TO GET RID OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?
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The most important trait in a girl when she is growing up is being fearless and herself. Another important stage while growing up is that of a teenager; neither a child nor an adult. The stage when they want everything under their control, and build their own new world and new peers. It is a natural phenomenon, as they are on the verge of getting Puberty. The mixed phase of a teenager is that of puberty, where a tremendous amount of changes take place on their physical and emotional front.
The most important and fundamental part of a girl’s life is her Upbringing. How she is welcomed, heard, understood, and motivated since childhood leaves a deep impact throughout her life. As rightly quoted by Abraham Lincoln, “Teach the child to gracefully lose and enjoy winning when they win”. The most sensitive stage of a person’s life is their childhood, when they are properly nurtured in their initial stages, they can do wonders and become fearless.
The stage of puberty is a turning point in everyone’s life, as one is vulnerable and openly exposed to both sides of the coin; good and bad. Proper knowledge, guidance, and support are required for teenagers round the clock so that they stay away from the bad aspects of society and focus on the good things.
A woman's journey begins from the day she is born into this world as an infant. Her arrival in some places is celebrated with all pomp and show and in some places, she ends up abandoned. The journey of growing up as a girl has many opportunities as well as challenges linked at every stage of life.
Most of the cases observed in the vicinity are about women being tortured, harassed, blackmailed, etc. It occurs often as women are vulnerable to getting affected more than men. There are more ways to harass a woman than men. It can happen by morphing a woman’s photo, shooting her video, stalking her online, etc. These instances can lead to a nightmare for the woman who is getting threats and blackmails.
It is not always necessary that married women only face an abusive relationship, those who are in love can also face such kind of trauma. Being in love does not give entire authority to the other gender, it means respecting each other’s space, work, existence, and passion. Those who fall in love take it for granted, they think that they have all the right to say or do anything. Love remains beautiful only when both genders maintain equal rights, veto powers, and freedom of expression. It turns into a nightmare or an abusive relationship when either one in the couple crosses the limit and harms the other in form of domestic violence, molesting, blackmailing, etc.
Prachi and Nikhil were in love since college, they were the first ones in their group to be in a relationship, and where both sides of the parents were affirmative about them. Prachi was a shy, timid, and reserved kind of girl with limited friends, whereas Nikhil was the confident and outspoken type of guy with a huge friend circle. It was a surprise for everyone that opposites do really attract. It took almost 2 years of college for Nikhil to convince Prachi to come out for a coffee date with him. Nikhil was a carefree and liked by everyone kind of guy, he had many female friends and many of them had a huge crush on him. But Nikhil was adamant to date Prachi since he saw him in college for the first time. Her big brown eyes, long silky hair, and fair complexion almost stopped everyone’s heartbeat for a second.
Prachi didn’t have a big circle or connection in the college, she knew only 2-3 girls and stayed in contact with them only. With immense efforts and roaming around Prachi for such a long time, she agreed to a coffee date with Nikhil. For the first time in her life did she come in contact with a guy and enjoyed her company. The coffee dates turned into movie dates and dinner dates till they decided to tell each other’s parents. Both sides were extremely happy and content with their kid’s choices and were waiting for the auspicious event of their marriage. As soon as their college was completed, Nikhil decided to migrate to the US for a better future and work. Prachi was afraid at first to go overseas, away from her family, but Nikhil gave assurance and she blindly trusted him.
For two long years, Prachi remained in India and Nikhil migrated to the US. In the beginning, Prachi had a job and earned pretty good, but as time passed, her in-laws refused her to work and told her to look after the house chores. She did not like their decision at first, but she had no choice. Nikhil used to promise her that he’ll send the ticket for Prachi to migrate whenever he called once a month. Prachi was stuck in her own house with no freedom of speech and expression, no work, and no friends around her. Finally, one fine day, Nikhil arrived back home to take Prachi with him. She was on cloud nine and could not stop smiling.
Prachi thought that now after arriving in the US, she’ll practice her profession and use her talent. As she was thinking, it did not happen accordingly, she was denied by Nikhil for working and getting out of the home without his permission. This kind of attitude was totally devastating for Prachi. Nikhil did not arrive for days, did not receive her call, and Prachi was locked in a huge mansion with little food. In a totally unknown country, with no friends and family access, to a food facility, her health began to deteriorate.
Nikhil came home, drunk and drugged. He could not balance himself, seeing this Prachi was shocked but rushed to help him. In the drunken state, Nikhil brutally beat Prachi with whatever came to his hand. Prachi was taken aback by this behavior, and she immediately called the police station in the vicinity. As soon as they arrived, they asked for all her immigration documents to file a complaint. She did not have any, the police searched the house but could not find even Prachi’s passport. They caught both of them in custody, Prachi was taken as she was suspected to be an illegal immigrant and Nikhil was taken due to domestic violence.
After a month, the police came to know that Nikhil had called her wife through illegal means and he was in huge debt, a drug trafficker and human trafficker for two years. The department contacted her family in India and they arranged the return of Prachi. She underwent mental counseling for a year and remained in rehab. She had lost all her hope and trust in the word love, relationships, trust, and loyalty. After going through an abusive relationship, she decided to become an ascetic and move away from all the toxicity in her life.
Like Prachi, there have been many girls and women stuck in abusive relationships. Instead of tolerating and suffering the trauma, seeking help from a family member or friend can save you from a disaster. Love does not have any boundaries, but getting tortured and blackmailed needs a clear boundary. There are many women-friendly shelter homes, toll-free numbers, and women police who are dedicated to serving women. All you need is to reach them by any means. Only you can help yourself, only you can stop the violence against yourself, and only you can take a stand for yourself. Get out of the shell, take a bold step and never regret the stand. There is nothing more important than self-respect.
The ICHHORI website is spreading awareness in all dimensions for women. It is a one-stop site for all the answers that a woman is seeking outside, it has become a torch-bearer in women's laws, health, and lifestyle, and it has become an eye-opener for women's relationships and dating, showing them the reality and being a guide.