What are the red flags of being a victim of domestic violence?
Domestic violence also known as domestic abuse or family violence is violence or other abuse that occurs mostly in a marriage but can occur in other relationships as well. Domestic violence can take place in relationships or between former spouses or partners. It involves violence against children, parents, or the elder members of the family. It can occur in multiple forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, religious, reproductive, or sexual abuse.
What are red flags?
It can never be said who can be a good partner and who can not. Initially everyone acts good and you will think that this is my dream partner but with time you will get to know about their true self. Possessiveness, jealousy and controlling behaviour are some of the things which are seen in a partner which leads to various forms of abuse. No one changes overnight, there are a series of events which take place which most often we overlook. These are actually the red flags which are a sign or indicator that you are with the wrong person or you are suffering from domestic violence in the form of mental and emotional abuse.
Physical or sexual abuse are easily understood but in a relationship we mostly overlook all the red flags and try to continue hoping that one day things will change for better.
What is the history of domestic violence?
In the early 1800s, most legal systems completely accepted wife-beating as a husband's right over his wife. Procedures back in the 16th century were informal and off the record, and no legal guidance specified the standard of proof or degree of violence which would suffice for a conviction. Women increasingly became divorced on grounds of cruelty and suing for assault was legal but it had a greater burden on the woman, as she needed to prove to the court that her life was at risk. In 1993, the UN published Strategies for Confronting Domestic Violence: A Resource Manual which urged countries around the world to treat domestic violence as a criminal act, and also the right to a private family life does not mean the right to abuse family members. Historically, children had few protections from violence by their parents, and it is still prevalent in many parts of the world. Marital rapes are considered as a crime after several years in the US but it is still legal in India, as there is no law against husbands raping their wives.
What are the early signs of domestic violence?
People don't indulge in domestic violence suddenly, there are a few warning signs to it. These must be seen and understood and are not to be taken lightly.
They want to be with you constantly, accusing you of cheating all the time. They follow you around and call frequently. Ask their friends to check up on you.
They constantly question who you spend your time with, what you did, where you were. They control you and ask you to take permission from them.
They pressurize for commitment even if you have been dating for 6 months only.
They flatter and compliment you in a way that makes you seem superhuman. Expect you to be perfect.
They put down everyone you know, be it your friends, family or other acquaintances. They try to cut off all your resources.
If anything goes wrong in the relationship, it is all your fault, they won’t take responsibility for their own behavior.
They try to make you responsible for how they feel and won’t take responsibility for their own feelings.
They see everything as a personal attack and look for fights, are unpredictable, and you can never know what will upset him.
They are insensitive to pain and suffering and don't treat others with respect.
They don't care whether you want sex or not, and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. They make sexual or degrading jokes about you.
They verbally abuse you of any kind.
They have two personalities.
You may get to know that the person was abusive to someone else.
They push, shove, or physically restrain you from leaving the room.
They don't respect your property or privacy.
What are the effects of domestic violence on women's life?
Domestic violence can have a lasting effect on women, it can severely affect their mental health. They can't concentrate on anything. They always have a fear of something happening, they lack confidence which affects their overall personality. They can't perform well at work.
Physical abuse can be to an extent that can affect the bones or muscles. They often make women homeless and they have to fight for their children's custody on filing divorce. Society and people also blame a woman who refuses to continue a relationship and hence she becomes socially inactive. Also domestic violence can lead to trust issues among women so much that they cannot move on in any other relationship.
How can domestic violence be prevented?
Domestic violence can be prevented using strategies but it should be implemented well. The existing laws for women should be repealed. Marriage laws must be made such that women should be able to enter freely into a marriage or leave it.
Conclusion
Domestic violence is violence or other abuse that occurs in a marriage or cohabitation. Domestic violence can take place in relationships or between former spouses or partners. Red flags are signs that you are with the wrong person or you are suffering from domestic violence in the form of mental and emotional abuse. Domestic violence can be prevented using strategies but it should be implemented well.
References
https://www.stepupformentalhealth.org/how-domestic-violence-impacts-womens-mental-health/
https://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/article/60653
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence