Why You Might Cry During Sex?
Sex is sometimes an extremely emotional act for many people. You can discover that having sex causes you to feel a variety of feelings, from pleasure to joy. Some people might even become so overwhelmed by feelings that they start crying.
If you've ever been in that circumstance, the first thing you should know is that, for the most part, it's entirely normal. Even while it could feel a little embarrassing, there is usually nothing to be concerned about. If you want to stop it from happening again, it helps to know why it happened and what you can do to make sure it doesn't.
This article takes a look at why you might cry during sex and what to do after it happens.
Reasons Why You May Cry During Sex
If you've ever sobbed during sex, your first thought is probably "Why?" especially if it appears like the tears just started. Although sobbing is most frequently linked with sadness, other feelings, such as enjoyment or irritation, can also make you cry.
You Are in Unwanted Pain
Sexual activity shouldn't ever be painful in an unpleasant way. You can start crying if you feel pain and discomfort during intercourse. To handle this, tell your partner right away that you are in pain and either stop everything altogether or dramatically slow down, only moving forward with consent, caution, and clear communication.
Dyspareunia, the term for pain experienced during sex, can be brought on by an injury, an illness, or a lack of lubrication.
Those who have vaginismus frequently experience pain during sex. Women who have vaginismus find it challenging to engage in penetrating intercourse. Typically, a mix of medicine and treatment is required to treat it.
You Are Sad or Depressed
Even though sex is supposed to be a happy activity, if you've been battling with thoughts of melancholy or depression, these emotions don't disappear during sex. If you're upset or depressed, you can find yourself crying at inconvenient times throughout the day, including during sex.
Depression is a challenging condition that requires either medication, treatment, or a mix of the two to be addressed.
You Are Happy
You might cry during sex, believe it or not, just because you are happy. This may be the case if you are having sex with a person you genuinely love or find to be very enjoyable. Therefore, if you find yourself crying because you are so happy, let the tears fall.
It could be a tender time of intimacy between you and your partner. Of course, you must let your partner know that you are sobbing because you are so delighted to avoid upsetting them.
You Are Ashamed of Having Sex
Many people battle with their sexual qualms. This mostly happens when it's not during the marriage or in a committed relationship. Some even consider having intercourse to be a disgusting act.
To have and enjoy sex comfortably, it's vital to unlearn the notion that having sex is a humiliating act.
Let's say you have any misgivings about engaging in sexual activity with a certain person or under certain circumstances. In that scenario, wait to have sex until these emotions have subsided and you feel more at ease doing so.
You’ve Just Had an Orgasm
Some people discover that they cry a little bit every time they have an orgasm. Orgasming is a powerful physiological response to sex-related pleasure.
Researchers discovered in a 2017 study that people go through a wide range of emotions, including sobbing, sneezing, and experiencing panic attacks after orgasm. It is uncommon and is referred to as a "peri-orgasmic phenomenon."
You Feel Overwhelmed
You might experience difficulties during sex if your personal, professional, or other obligations overwhelm you. Your body continuously releases a hormone cocktail during intercourse. You may cry if stress or anxiety are added to the hormone surge.
Additionally, some people experience sexual performance anxiety, which makes them vulnerable to crying during sex. According to research, the illness affects 6% to 16% of women and 9% to 25% of males.
You Are Dealing With Unresolved Trauma
This could be traumatic if you've already been sexually or emotionally abused. Having experienced sexual trauma might impede having and enjoying sex after the incident, especially if you have yet to heal from the trauma.
It is recommended that you attend therapy or support groups to address your unresolved trauma and that you consider finding a partner who can support your healing through compassionate, understanding, and respectful emotional and sexual connection.
You Have Postcoital Dysphoria
Postcoital dysphoria is a disorder in which women experience profound grief after having intercourse.
According to a 2015 study, approximately 46% of participants have experienced postcoital distress at least once in their life.
4 If you have this disease, you may cry unexpectedly after or during intercourse, even if you enjoyed it. In extreme circumstances, you may even get into a fight with your spouse during sex for no apparent reason.
You Are Unhappy With Your Partner
Crying could indicate a problem in your relationship. If you've been having emotional problems with your partner or considering splitting up, it might all come to a head during sex.
If this is the case, it is critical to discuss it with your partner so that you may both focus on either healing the relationship or splitting ways.
You're Experiencing Hormonal Changes
Relaxation and happiness are produced by hormones released during sex, such as oxytocin and dopamine.
However, you may cry or tear up as a result of the rush of these hormonal changes, as well as the physical and emotional intensity of sex.
If you have premenstrual syndrome (PMS),6 pregnancies,7 menopause,8 or are having fertility treatment,9 your body is going through hormonal changes that may cause you to cry during sex as well.
You Are Fully Present
When you are entirely present and at the moment, you may cry during sex. Being present makes space for other feelings to emerge, particularly feelings we have avoided, numbed, or repressed. Sex can cause the release of a wide range of feelings.
So You Cried During Sex, What Now?
You could feel a little ashamed if you just sobbed during sex. It may help to know that you are not alone and that most of the time, you are absolutely normal.
What you do next is usually determined by the reason you are sobbing. For example, if you are in pain, you should stop having sex right once and seek out what is causing your agony. If you can't figure out what's causing your pain, you may need to consult a doctor.
If you're crying for another reason, talk to your spouse to figure it out together.
How to Respond to a Partner Crying During Sex
It can be unexpected when a spouse bursts into tears during or after sex. It may also make you feel guilty, frightened, or anxious about your partner's well-being.
The most important thing is to have a discussion about it. Don't go on as if nothing happened. Crying during sex can often be an indication of emotional troubles or worries about your relationship.
Explain that you understand and empathize with their feelings, and then ask how you can assist them. It is critical not to rush back into sex or other sexual activity unless you both feel you have reached a complete reconciliation.
In addition to discussing why the crying is occurring (rather than jumping into logical problem-solving mode, it can be beneficial to meet and be present with what is rather than immediately attempting to diagnose it):
Inquire with your partner if they want to stop (the response may be to keep going or stop)
Slow down and pay attention to your partner's nonverbal clues.
Stop sexual activity and stay close to your partner until they are ready to speak/communicate.
A Word From Ichhori
There are numerous reasons why you may cry during or after sex. It's nothing to be concerned about, and in certain cases, it might even be an indication that you and your spouse have a strong and loving connection. If you frequently cry during sex and can't figure out why you should go to a psychologist or sex therapist. You could do this with or without your spouse.