What to Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Find You Attractive Anymore
It's difficult to prioritise any of these aspects because they all work together to keep a relationship going. Knowing that your partner gets an electrifying rush from mundane things like your smile, how clothes fit on your body, or even simply watching you work in your element is a feeling that can't be traded in a relationship.
This is why the first indicator that you no longer light a fire in someone you care about can be unsettling.
This article discusses several behaviours that may signal a decrease in your attractiveness to your partner. If your partner exhibits these characteristics, you'll also learn how to reignite the flame in your relationship.
Signs That Your Partner Doesn’t Find You Attractive
Let's look at some symptoms that your lover may no longer be as interested in you as they once were.
You're Having Less Sex
Examining your sex life is one of the first steps in determining how your partner feels about your physical connection. Do you have less sex? How does foreplay generally feel, and has it altered significantly? Are you and your partner talking and comparing notes following sessions?
This is especially noticeable in married couples. While sex tends to slow down during marriage (a population study discovered a significant decrease in the number of times couples had sex weekly), a sudden change in the frequency with which you have sex with your partner could indicate a change in how attractive your partner finds you.
Similarly, if the intimacy in foreplay is missing, or if this act is omitted entirely when you have sex, this could be another warning flag.
In some circumstances, the frequency with which you have sex may not be reduced, but how your spouse goes about things has changed significantly. Sex may begin to feel routine, almost like a checkbox in your relationship—gone is the passion, conversation, and intimacy normally have accompanied your lovemaking.
Your Partner Is Spending More Time Apart From You
When your partner begins to spend more time away from the home you share, or away from you, it is understandable to be concerned.
However, spending less time with your partner may not necessarily be a cause for concern—they may simply want some alone time and may find it difficult to discuss without inciting your anxieties.
However, if they keep making excuses for not being able to meet, or if the time you spend together is usually limited and devoid of real intimacy—this could indicate a declining desire for you.
They Are Putting Less Effort Into the Relationship
The amount of effort your partner puts into the relationship is a truly terrible indicator that they no longer find you appealing. Endearments may be dropped, joint activities may become a thing of the past, and even getting them to react to your SMS may become daunting.
This can be excruciatingly unpleasant, especially if your partner was exceptionally rigorous in making you feel unique early in your relationship.
Intimacy Is Starting to Feel Familial
In other circumstances, you may discover that your partner does everything right: calls you regularly during the day to give you updates, schedules movie dates, or has a day set aside where you eat somewhere special during the week. The only problem is that it feels more like you're dealing with a brother or sister than a person you'd desire to stay close to.
While friendship and trust exist, there is a noticeable lack of a spark that reveals your partner has only you in mind and will go to any length to keep that flame alive.
Understandably, infatuation isn't always the most long-lasting reaction you may elicit from your lover. However, if your significant other begins to lose attachment and desire for you, the future of your relationship may be jeopardised.
You're Fighting More Often
If your partner is becoming more irritable towards you, and never misses an opportunity to argue about big or small issues in your relationship—not only is this a sign that they may be losing interest in your charm and appeal, but it could also signal something more trouble for the relationship's future.
How to Rekindle Attraction in Your Relationship
Accepting that your spouse may no longer be interested in you might be difficult. This level of awareness, though, maybe the key to getting your relationship back on track.
The following are some methods for regaining your partner's attraction to you:
Have an Open Conversation
In addition to love, trust, and attraction, communication is a foundational component of partnerships that should not be overlooked.
Speak frankly and honestly to your spouse about the changes you've noticed in their attraction to you. Learn how they perceive you, and whether your behaviour has changed to the point that they are withdrawing.
When this may be easier said than done—especially since communication while addressing difficulties is notoriously tough for couples—by hearing things straight from your partner, you may learn some features you may have been unaware of that could have damaged your closeness.
It's vital to remember that finding the perfect technique to communicate with your partner during this time might be crucial to effectively communicate your concerns. 2 Avoid making accusatory accusations or speaking when tempers are frayed as much as possible. When discussing matters with your partner, aim for an open, honest conversation.
Take some time apart
It may appear counterproductive to distance yourself from your partner at a moment when you want them to look more attentively and feel something with you—but this change may be exactly what your relationship requires.
By making time for solo excursions and encouraging your partner to take a vacation with family and friends, you may give your partner the opportunity to miss you. This may also provide you with an opportunity to rediscover yourself.
However, time apart does not imply abandoning your significant other. Check-in on a regular basis to avoid alienating them. You might use this time to spice up your relationship via virtual or phone calls. This may provide a change from your regular relationships and may aid to increase their interest in you.
Go Back to the Basics of Romance
With your partner's indulgence, you can return to the early days of your relationship by performing everything you and your beloved did while dating.
Take the time to date, look your best, and send passionate love notes to each other. Going on movie dates, taking culinary lessons together, or participating in other personal couple activities such as a pottery class could provide a much-needed change in closeness.
Keeping close proximity and deviating from your relationship's routine can help to boost your partner's attractiveness to you.
Consult a Therapist
In other circumstances, you may decide to seek professional assistance in resolving your relationship problems. Therapy is an excellent way to investigate and improve any intimacy or attraction issues you may be having with your partner.
To address any issues with your partner, different types of therapy are available—cognitive existential couples therapy, couple-based cognitive-behaviour therapy, and cognitive dialectical behavioural therapy are just a few of the ways a professional can intervene in your relationship.
A relationship therapist may help you identify your relationship's strengths as well as other areas in which you and your spouse may improve, in addition to focusing on your partner's attraction.
A Word From Ichhori
According to popular belief, one of the first things to leave a relationship is attraction. However, no matter how widely this tidbit is spread, it is not always true. Attraction and closeness are critical components of relationship success and satisfaction. Despite the warning indications, you may have picked up from your partner's demeanour, these characteristics can be restored. Spending time apart to rediscover your love for each other, speaking openly about issues, and attending couples therapy are just a few strategies to restore the enchantment of attraction in your relationship.
If you're considering seeking professional help for your relationship, our reunification therapy guide will teach you about a treatment you and your partner may benefit from.