Lifestyle

Nothing to do but still busy?

I have been doing almost nothing but I have been very busy. Sounds stupid but it’s true. I have been going to the same office and doing same work (which is not much at all) and after office, I have nothing urgent to attend to but I am so busy in my head. All the members of my family and friends keep complaining that I don’t give them as much time as much I used to.

I even can’t pay my bills on time; I keep pushing them to the due date even though I can pay the bills online in just a minute. I am unable to fulfill my interests of designing cloths or jewelry or cooking.

I keep saying it myself that I will do it ‘LATER’.

This ‘LATER’ is killing my life. I have become so busy in doing nothing. Surprisingly, when I looked around, I found that I am not alone who has been suffering from this ‘LATER’ syndrome. In my office, in my friend circle, in my family, there are so many people who are so free yet pretend to be so busy all the time. This weekend I sat down and decided to do something about it.

I realized we have been wasting time in absolutely useless activities and hence running out of usable/useful time of the day. Some of the most frequently attended but useless activities are-

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  • YouTube

People spend enormous amount of time browsing irrelevant videos on YouTube. Crazy experimental videos caught on cam videos, viral videos, meaningless TikTok videos etc. We genuinely do not want to learn anything from YouTube videos but we love to browse through a few videos each day and kill our precious time. We know that we have to do some meaningful chore but we keep pushing that chore for ‘Later’ stage and wasting time on silly videos become our priority.

  • Social Media

We love to peep into the profiles of our friends and not so good friends, just to see what they are up to and whether they are doing better than us in their life or not. Instagram , Twitter and Facebook are the fav platforms where we just love to search through hundreds of pictures of friends, celebrities, makeup artists and bla bla. Rather than utilizing our time in doing something meaningful and important we are more interested in seeing those dresses on Instagram which we actually never gonna wear or even like in real world.

  • TV

You go back to your home in the evening and pretend to be tired as if you had a very busy day and sit in front of TV to give yourself some relaxing moment after your so called buys day. Does it sound familiar? Of yes it definitely does. We all do that, we just sit in front of TV and keep changing channels but we are not actually interested in watching any of the program, we are just used to killing our precious time. We have become so lazy and unambitious that these activities seem ok and we love to pretend that we are engaged with some activity at least such as watching TV.

  • Sitting around

At times we don’t watch any TV, we don’t browse through social media channels or YouTube videos, and we just sit around. Mind is busy in thinking hard about nothing. We just sit for hours and still mind is so busy inside, but none of the thoughts make any sense. We pretend to be thinking/planning some goals or ways to achieve those goals but after a few hours of sitting around, we get up and start doing something else such watching YouTube videos, everything else can be done’ LATER’.

We fail to realize that life is made of days and waste of any day means waste of a portion of that life. We continue to waste no. of days, we continue to waste even larger portion of our life. It’s very simple to understand but then let’s watch some YouTube/TikTok videos because thinking about life can be done LATER!

Pics: Google.

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Lifestyle

Girl’s Life After #College

Why say the obvious? It’s a world known fact that college life is the best phase of life.

Carefree, stress-free and fun filled days and that too in abundance. Lots of friends, least of budget and still the best of the moments and memories.

But life takes an unexpected turn after college life gets over. While in college, every girl seems to have lot of confidence and even bigger dreams and ambitions of being ‘big in life’ someday. But all this changes and that too in stages. So what are real and drastic changes that the girls face after completing the college?

Job Search

While they start searching for jobs, that confidence and dream of being big starts shaking. In college, girls get used to get attention but while out in the real world as a job aspirant, they get ignored a lot which they are not used to. This brings their confidence level down to a new low.

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At this stage, girls really start thinking about what their professional life will be and how difficult its going to be an achiever among the crowd of professionals. Another realization is that they cannot go in groups like the good old college days. When going for an interview, there are no friends to be with her in transport or during the interview. So she has to manage on her own.

While desperately trying to impress the interviewer, girls also realise that college language which they were famous for is no longer considered as ‘cool’. fuck ya, nope, don giv a damn gets replaced with yes sir, No sir and I will take care of it sir.

First Job

After getting a call that you have got the job, the dreams and confidence are again at the highest level, just the way these used to be during college days. But things start looking very different the very first day in office. First realization is that there is no ‘fresher’s welcome’ like college, infact no one seems to be giving any attention. A new girl in office is as lost as a kid on his first day in a theme park.

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Lots of questions start bombarding the mind and heart and liver and intestine and what not. Am I looking ok?/is my dress appropriate for the office?/should I just bump into everyone and introduce myself anyway?/how and when will I have my lunch and with whom etc. the list of such questions is endless.

When the seat/work station gets allotted, girl is surrounded by many others but no one actually talks to her. All are busy in their own world. Sitting in an office so quite for 8 hours becomes very difficult especially when the girls are used to college canteen gossip for hours. She also gets uncomfortable from the quality of work point of view. No one is asking her what new she can bring on the table and what new ideas she might have about the work. Office just wants her to act like a machine and keep following the traditional work blindly.

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Relationships

College mates and boyfriends are cool to hang out with because they are immature, pure and childish but innocent kinda guys and more importantly they have time, lots of it. But after joining office life, it’s not the case. The childish boyfriend seems irresponsible now. You feel change in you and hence you expect your partner to change too. If you get non-stop messages during office hours, you will get irritated because everyone sitting around you in office seem so formal and artificially so well behaved.

All of a sudden, the requirement of a cool guy changes into a requirement of a responsible man. And hang on, parents also play their part very well in this. ‘You have graduated, you have got the job, so next step should be obvious, you should settle down now’, does this sound familiar? Oh yes, it does. If you are in any Asian country, this is the usual sentence parents use for their kids post college.

In short, life in real world outside college is very different. It is dynamic yet boring, its routine yet interesting, its artificial yet reality of life. iChhori suggests that you go out there and learn as much as you can. Try, execute, fail and try again with passion. Keep your cool, build your confidence and conquer it!

Pics Source: Google

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6. #WhyShouldiShutUp: My uncle wished me Happy Bday, then he raped me

I have always been told that the “Home is the safest place on Earth” but what I have experienced in my own home all these years, proved this statement wrong. I went through hell at my own home in presence of my so called ‘own’ people. My own family member killed my soul and I have been dead all through my life. I used to be a happy, chirpy and joyful kid but some incidents changed me into an isolated, grumpy and cantankerous human being.

Let me narrate my real story because I can’t take it anymore and I have to take this heavy burden off my chest.

I was only 12 and the favorite child in my family. I was smart, healthy, humorous and polite kid. At least that’s what I heard from everybody about me then. But things suddenly changed when an uncle of mine came over to our home to stay for a few months. On his very first day of entering our house I got this vibe that he is not a good person. The way he looked at me or rather my private parts made me highly uncomfortable. But he being an elder person and I being a 12 year old kid, I had to pay respect to him. He always looked at my private parts while talking to me, many a times he tried to touch me by showing his affection for me but I abruptly run away from him.

It was 12 February, my birthday. I was very excited and so was my family. My mom told me that after 12th Bday, I would be a powerful girl, it will be a new start f my great life. We all were planning how to celebrate my birthday. My mom and dad left me at home alone to shop for my birthday party. The creepy uncle was not in the town so I was more than excited on my Birthday. It was 2 pm when the doorbell rang; I thought may be some friend of mine is there to wish me Happy Bday so I hurriedly opened the door. To my shock and disappointment, it was the same creepy uncle who appeared after 2 days to surprise me on my birthday.

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He came inside and made me sit over his lap. Initially, I thought it was his fatherly love but the moment he got to know that nobody’s home he started kissing me here and there and all over my body. I was obviously feeling very weird but I went numb out of fear. I had no courage to question him about his doings. He started removing his clothes and forced me to remove mine too. He then lowered his underwear and tried to put something inside my vagina. I had no idea what was going on. I kept on kicking and punching him but he was too strong to get hurt from my tender hands. I was only a 12 yr old girl. I kept crying.

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He used his force and did something which gave me immense pain and with that pain came in the blood which shook me. I was trembling in pain and fear. But he kept on forcing himself on me and trying to go inside my vagina with that thing, over and over again until he got exhausted. I was lying on the floor naked in pain and agony whereas he was sleeping after doing god knows what. Then in an hour or so when he woke up, he threatened me saying if I tell anyone about this he would kill my entire family. My family was way more valuable and important for me compared to  my self-respect so I kept myself quiet throughout these years and this was not the only time I got raped, it went on and on.  I lived like a dead body and carried my dead soul all these years. How can someone be so cruel, emotionless and brutal to a kid just to have sexual pleasures?

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Lifestyle

5. #WhyShouldiShutUp: ‘…I felt guilty as a female and happy as a mother..’

My real life struggle started when I got divorced. I just could not bear his abuse and domestic violence. I tried to protect my married life but one fine day I gathered all my courage and walked out of his house along with my two kids but no money.

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I wanted to start my new life with new city so I boarded a bus to New Delhi. I did not have any money or belongings with me. I was so scared and worried about ‘what will happen next’ and how life would treat me and my little kids. I knew that problems will come running and that too in abundance but I didn’t know that one of them will strike so sudden. The journey I took thinking of my freedom swallowed one of my children as he went missing from the bus.

I was not in my senses for a long time as no police officer was taking serious action towards my situation. I kept running to the police station every now and then to enquire about my missing child but no one was as concerned as I was. Rather police was busy in their usual work of making some extra bucks from the needy ones like me.

iChhori.com

One day when I visited police station to enquire about my missing child, I was asked to wait for the whole day and the day turned into night. No one was ready to share the status of missing child probably because they had not even started searching for him. A police officer asked me to leave but I told him that I had no money and no one to look up to. I cried a lot while telling him my whole story. I told him everything because he was the first person who heard me. He offered to help. I was happy that at least someone has got some heart in him. He offered me money but held my hand and said ‘I will give you money, but you also need to give me something in return’, I was shocked. He wanted to sleep with me. I was so broke and helpless that I could not let go of that money. More than his lust, all I could see was the hungry face of my little kid. I took the bait and had to sleep with him for two days.

I felt disgusted and kept crying whole day. But, for a change I was not crying with empty stomach. My kid was smiling after getting some food down his tiny belly. I just kept crying with mixed emotions, I was guilty as a female and I was happy as a mother!

My extreme struggle taught me that I had only one resource and that was my body. For the sake of my child, I decided to use the only resource I had and life jumped onto the circumference of that vicious circle.

Those people, who never came forward to help me out in my struggle, started judging me. But, was I wrong? Even I do not know whether I was wrong or not, only thing I know is that the only thing which gave me support and helped me fill my empty belly was my body. And I have no shame in talking about it, why shouldn’t I? Should I take moral lecture from those who used me? I guess not, I am not that cheap. Unlike those people, I might have sold my body but not my soul!

#WHYSHOULDISHUTUP

Pics: Google.

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4. #WhyShouldiShutUp: Small OR Big?

Nobody knows what is going to happen in next second but we often assume things to be normal. One day I assumed that it is going to be the best day of my life because I am going to meet my biggest inspiration SHAKTI MOHAN.

I got to know about her event a night before and in the morning I am all packed up to meet her in person. The funniest part is that I woke up before my alarm today and on that matter of fact mom says while seeing me awake “I wish you could do this more often, to save your ruined life”.  I ignore her sweet and bitter dose and rush to leave for the event.

Kavya (my best friend) is waiting for me downstairs who is guiding Ola driver to reach the pick up location and I, meanwhile is lacing up my shoes. Sunglasses check, outfit check, hands free check, gift for my lady check, oh now I am all set to rock the dance floor, flipping my hair. That we leave for the event my heart beats are increasing with the decreasing distance of the destined location. It is a day I have been waiting for so long and I waiting for my kind of a dream to come true. There is not even a single second that I have not thought about her. We reach the drop location and I feel that it took us no time to reach here perhaps I am wrong as I am not in my senses.

The event has started already and I get my breath back when I get to know that SHAKTI MOHAN is not here yet. So, after waiting for an hour or two, I finally get to meet her and besides, I get to share same stage with her which is no less than a miracle for me. She is such a beautiful soul and I can’t deny that I was on the cloud nine at that time. I hug her and tell her how much I respect her struggle. I tell her “She is a perfect example all the women can look upto” So it is actually a grand moment for me which I am going to cherish throughout my life. After the end of the event Kavya and I both agree to go back by metro which is kind of a fun ride for us as for many others in Delhi. So we board the metro. I am feeling totally high and Kavya is poking me for behaving insanely in metro. We are actually laughing a lot and our station (Rajiv Chowk) is about to arrive. So we, with the rest of the crowd approach the exit door to get down. Metro gets slow, Kavya is standing beside me and she does not look comfortable but I ignore it because I am in my own world of excitement after meeting Shakti Mohan.

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When we start getting off the metro, suddenly Kavya screams at a guy and tells me “this guy grabbed and pinched my butt, that too 2-3 times.” It made both of us so furious that we both kick that guy in front of crowd and hand him over to the security force (CRPF) to take rest of the action.

You see, how abruptly things change and some cheap guy just ruin your day. A disgusting move by a guy has made so big difference to our day. The incident has put off our moods. These kinda cheap people do not have any idea what a dignity of girl means. To them girl is just a meaningless, valueless object who they can feel, touch and abuse whenever they feel like. I wonder what happiness do they get out of these disgusting acts?

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3. #WhyShouldiShutUp: 2 min into chat and he says, ‘send me yr nudes..’

Some days we really want to CARPE DIEM irrespective of its consequences. This day is one of them. After break up, it is my first morning. Bit sad but full of freedom. Crying on the night of break up is kind of ritual isn’t it? Well I followed it religiously and am feeling all relaxed after successfully completing the traditional break up process. Now the next step is to catch up with my girls for our own girly chit chat. I wake myself up and take hold of my phone to text all my girlfriends/ sakhi saheliyan. Suddenly, mom enters with my bed tea along with her refreshing taunt “Make your phone your boyfriend”. Actually, that taunt is more like a slap on my wrong choices of boyfriends. I am imagining mom with that thug style goggles and cigar after her pro level punchline.

I am basically on a hunt for some hot boys now and it’s been so long that I haven’t flirted with one. The search is too long that it is evening from morning and I am successfully getting failed so I decide to meet my best friend Kavya. She is the only one who is able to take care of my after break up tantrums and mood swings.

Guess what? Her cousin from London is visiting her and I am invited to meet him, which is no less of an opportunity for my broken heart to get repaired again! Besides, he is so hot and the moment we met, that real game of eye contact has started already. He comes bit closer and talks to me. He is been talking and my eyes are all over him, his moving lips, his eyes, his smile and his cheek bones. Everything about him was so good. He seemed not only attractive but also a very decent and intelligent guy. A part of me wanted to ask for his phone number buy I am bit shy to ask for it. So I leave it the way it is and head back home bare hands.

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I knew mom would again serve her thug style taunt and while opening the door, she throws her ever sweet line at me, ‘oh, you came too early’/’Thoda aur late aate beta’ and I am like, mom please, not today. Irritated I entered my room but it took no time to cheer up seeing notification in phone that Kavya tagged me in a pic on Instagram. I knew, she would have tagged Kunal (her cousin) as well. I know of his Instagram account now but the problem now is whether I send him the follow request or wait for his request? After waiting for a while I sent him the request (I know, it just happened!).

Only I know, how happy I was but who knew it wouldn’t last that long. I message him, ‘Hi’ and the conversation starts. As imagined, he seemed like a nice guy and kind of gentleman as well. But few hours into chit chat and it starts showing who he really was. First he says “I just noticed something in you and I am sorry for doing that”, I ask him what is it? He says “it is nothing, just leave it.” So I get even more curious about what he s noticed about me in such a short while. He creates suspense just to force me to ask him repeatedly, and stupidly I did exactly that.

After all, he replies, ‘you have really good tits and ass’. I am shocked and blank!

A supposedly decent guy and a gentleman just turned into a very disrespectful and ill-mannered male.  Nobody ever talked to me like this and he doesn’t stop just there. You know what next thing he asked me for? He says, ‘I want you to send me your nudes’. It shook me up, how can somebody, whom I know only for like past 4 hours can ask me for my nudes? I obviously say ‘NO’ to him. And he sums it up by saying, ‘you are a whore!’ He ridiculed me for the things I didn’t do.

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For an instance I started doubting myself, am I a whore just because I wanted to chat with a nice guy and tried to get to know him, just because he seemed nice and decent? His 5 minutes online chat made me feel disgusted. I deleted my Insta account out of frustration. I decided to keep away from so called ‘seemingly decent’ guys.

But it still makes me wonder why it is so hard for males to accept NO from a female? Is it an insult to their masculinity? Or they are just not used to it? They have been doing whatever they ever wanted for ages and a female saying NO to their disgusted fantasies is a blow to their ego. Well, sooner or later they will have to understand that a female is not a product which they can use at their will, female also carries a heart inside which beats and beats for all the right reasons. I appeal to all male population of the world that they better take a big size print out of ‘NO MEANS NO’ and paste on the their main door, when they leave the house, they read it out loud and then face the females outside!

#WhyShouldiShutUp

pics: Google.

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Lifestyle

2. #WhyShouldiShutUp: One Winter Morning

Waking up to this day is no less than a nightmare to me. I am expecting something terrible unwrapping this day and my gut feeling is very strong about ‘disaster on the way’. I am eating my breakfast with such wrong vibes that fruit jam tastes like bitter gourd to me. I don’t want to leave home today but calculating my leaves per month is forcing me to take my ass off the chair.

Missing two metro trains in one go is another omen for me that I shouldn’t take trains, I should rather use some other means of transport. So I choose to walk because office is not that far from my place. Although it is 10 o’clock in the morning but I hardly am able to see people because in winter people love to remain under cosy blanket instead of going out in the cold.

While walking I am in my own world of observing nature, chirping of birds, slightly visible rays of sun and scattering of moist fog, Suddenly, I notice a guy under a shady tree whose piercing eyes are more onto my private parts than my face, the distance between him and me is not that far. Now, you can’t blame my dress as I am not exposing even my face because of the cold weather. Ignoring him, I try to rush but suddenly I hear a voice of ‘CHIIIICCHHIIICH, Heyy..’ and my eyes followed the voice. I just look at him casually because it is not the first time that I have been teased by boys on the road. But he looked different than others, the way he was looking at me made me feel like I was an eatable item. He had a smile full of disgust on his face, and he was shaking and making vulgar gestures, I look at him carefully and get shaken up inside, the guy is MASTURBATING. I am in a GREAT shock! WTF just happened!

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I am trembling in fear and unimaginable shock. I just wanna run away from that place but foggy weather and seeing no one around on the road, makes me scared even more.

I gather myself somehow and start walking as fast as I could. His disgusting act made me feel like I am not a human being, anyone can ignore me, and anyone can use me against my will and won’t even bother about how I feel about it.

How filthy, disgusting, inhuman and immoral it is. How can anyone even do such a thing? I am so much shaken up inside, my mind is too busy trying to clear that filth out of my mind but I remain silent whole day, not even a word about it or anything else. I just cannot talk, my mouth is locked!

I want to take some strong action against it but I can’t. I am scared of people judging me or rather holding me responsible for this incident. But for how long girls will have to bear this non sense? What else do we have to do to prove that we are also human beings? How do we convince them that we have a soul and it gets hurt too?

We all have to rise up and make a noise, a big massive loud shout about it. Let everyone hear for once and all that we are human beings and we need to be treated like humans! #WhyShouldiShutUp.

Pics: Google

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1. #WhyShouldIShutUp: Harassment in public transport

“No mom I don’t wanna go anywhere, it’s Saturday and I wanna sleep a little more.” UUURRGGHHHH! Guyz who needs to set an alarm when you have your mom in its disguise? Still shouting at me so that I can take my ass off the bed but I, like always wanting those essential 5 more minutes. It was kinda good morning for me because for a school going kid nothing is better than a morning sleep. After leaving the bed I got to know that we were going to my aunt’s place and going to have a really nice lunch there. For that mouth-watering feeling, I got ready really quick so that we can leave as early as possible.

My mother, brother and I are now leaving for the whole day enjoyment and fun. We wait for personal auto rickshaw but at last waiting for too long forced us to take sharing auto. Mom and I sat together at one side of the sharing auto and bro sat at the other side with other two male passengers. You must be wondering why am I so concerned about mentioning the gender of the co-passengers, let me tell you the incident takes place because of them being a male. I am in a very jolly mood and waiting for the day to show me abruptly what is there in the treasure for me but I didn’t know that an incident is going to happen which would shake me up for years. Being a teenage girl and not facing any harassment is the only thing I believe is IMPOSSIBLE.

I am enjoying the nature outside but suddenly I feel something touched my feet. After few seconds I noticed that a guy sitting in front is touching my feet on purpose. I feel uncomfortable, it never happened with me so I am totally blank. I want to share it with mom right away but I am unable to even speak. He touches it again and I am searching for a place to keep my feet far from him but unable to keep it away as you know how small sharing autos are. I, spreading the corners of my eyes while looking at him to threaten him but in reply he still gives me a wink and a kiss.

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I desperately want to get down from auto rickshaw ASAP. I was scared that while getting down, he might grope me and the same thing happened. Auto halts for us to get down and when my turn comes to get up, he gropes my buttocks with his filthy hand. His smile was the most disgusting expression I had seen in all my teenage years. He touched my ass as if it belonged to him. Nobody knows what happened in the auto, only me and that guy. I was so confused, scared and was shivering with some kind of unknown fear, at least unknown till that moment of disgust.

I was just a happy going, chirpy, innocent teenage girl. That incident made me very silent and sad for days. It may vanish from his mind in no day but this is going to be with me forever. Silently, I cried for days and months and nobody knows. The irony is nobody even cares even if they notice anything of this sort. I couldn’t come out of that feeling of being used and feeling of being a non-human being to that co-passenger. I will have to fight my own battle. A battle which I didn’t even know that I would have to fight ever in my life. But I will and I will destroy the feeling of disgust and will come out of it like a warrior!

#WhyShouldIShutUp

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Lifestyle, Uncategorized

#DontJudgeMe: My plea to the society

Don’t sit that way you look like a slut! Don’t raise your voice apparently you are a girl! Soften your voice is what you need to prefer! As being a girl is actually a kalank!

Short hair doesn’t go with you because you are categorized under long hair column. Even your Baal katne wala will tell you at certain age that you need to grow your hair because that is a symbol of your being. Categorization is such a thing bruh! And the vital role in categorization has always been given to that corner waali chaar aunty with whom we have NOT met in our life till yet and the irony is NEVER will take the place of Not certainly. Believe me those aunties do exist but in our parents’ mentality.

LOG KYA KAHENGE!!

These are those LOG with whom we are not accustomed to and I think they exist only to ruin our life in their style. Mother and Father, they all are trapped in this net spread by these LOG and they together take the theka of our Life (how cool is that). And their tag line is “BETA TUMHARE BHALE KE LIYE HAI” (Haha)

You are born only to be dependent. INDEPENDENCE has to be a word that exists only in your dictionary and nowhere else because if it does, then again you will be termed as slut, prostitute, whore and what not babe!

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You are not supposed to show your bra strap, it is only allowed to boys to show their body parts and prove they are macho. Whoops!

I guess ‘Agle janam mohe bitiya na Kijo’ is what we are going to die with and society will give no shit about it.

So at last I beg society to have mercy on me, I hope you are not angry if I disagree.

Pics: Google.

 

 

 

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Sikh Heroes: The Real Story Behind “12 Baj Gaye”

Are you the one of the many who ridicules Sardar (Sikh) by saying “12 baj gaye”? If you don’t leave a single chance to make them feel degraded, then you will stop doing that when you’ll get to know the real truth behind 12 BAJ GAYE.

Sardars (Sikhs) have been involved in wars, sports, politics and they have made history that no one has.  And they continue to give their sweat and blood to build our nation strong.

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Aurangzeb was considered to be the cruelest leader, he even forced Kashmiri Pandits to convert to Islam, and they turned to Guru Teg Bahadur who welcomed them with open hands. Because of this reason, Guru was captured by Aurangzeb and was then executed by Aurangzeb in Chandni Chowk, Delhi.

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Nader Shah was a Persian Invader. He invaded India in the 1700s for wealth and fame. His armies passed through Punjab and plundered and looted Delhi. They captured around 2,200 Indian women who were to be taken back to Persia.  Only Sikhs were the ones who came forward to execute those women and make them reach their homes safely. This action plan of Sardars used to be executed at nights, and the cruel people degrade them by saying, 12 Baj Gaye.

The Commander of Sikh Army, Sardar Jassa Singh was brave hearted and they decided to attack the camp but at midnight when most of the army of Nader Shah was in deep sleep. They attacked the Camp despite being so few in numbers and took out all the captive women saving from any dishonor. They were going to be sold in the Abdal Market of Persia.

There is deep and beautiful history behind 12 baj gaye story, and even Supreme Court banned the jokes on Sardars.  Guru Teg Bahadur’s sacrifice is one of the few examples in which a man died for the sake of others religions.

So, next time you crack a joke on Sardars, just remember their sacrifice and realise that they were there to protect our ancestors when you or others were not.

pics: Google

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10 best books of 2018 that change our lives

Every year we go through lists of best books, movies and songs throughout the year.  And having a list of best of 2018 is a precious thing to have at the end of the year.

  1. Becoming by Michelle Obama

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The former first lady’s long-awaited new memoir recounts with insight, candor and wit her family’s trajectory from the Jim Crow South to Chicago’s South Side and her own improbable journey from there to the White House.

  1. Those who knew : A Novel by Idra Novey

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Idra Novey has written a story about power. It’s called “Those Who Knew.” And it begins in the aging port city of an unnamed island nation 10 years after the fall of a brutal regime.

  1. The sadness of Beautiful Things: Stories

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“Simon Van Booy writes wonderful stories that surprise and uplift,  that hold our attention all the way with subtle revelations about life in all its astounding contradictions: its sorrows and joys.”

  1. Everything’s Trash, But It’s Okay by Phoebe Robinson

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From New York Times bestselling author and star of 2 Dope Queens , Phoebe Robinson, comes a new, hilarious, and timely essay collection on gender, race, dating, and a world that seems to always be a self-starting Dumpster fire.

  1. Lake Success: A Novel

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The novel? bold ambition to capture the nation and the era is enriched by its shrewd attention to the challenges and sorrows of parenthood.

  1. A Whistle-Stop Tour of Ancient India by Nayanjot Lahiri. Published by Hachette.

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“The human past can be written about with as much brevity or elaboration as one wants.”

  1. The Sultanpur Chronicles: Shadowed City by Achala Upendran. Published by Hachette India.

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The Sultanpur Chronicles opened to a wonderful new fantasy series that I look forward to reading. It is a great convergence of fantasy along with elements of romance, adventure and action, modernity, and so on.

  1. The Queen of Jasmine Country by Sharanya Manivannan

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The honey of devotion with its sweetness of mystical love enthrall your senses and enraptures your heart in the trance of sublime ecstasy.

The book maps the life journey of 9th century poetess Kodhai, one of the twelve Alvars saints who composed poems in praise of the Almighty.

  1. Feel free by Zadie Smith

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Over the course of the book, Smith repeatedly describes the self as a malleable and porous construct with boundaries subject to change, in the post-modernist literary tradition — but now, she warns, that may no longer be a valid construct.

  1. There There by Tommy Orange

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A sorrowful, beautiful debut novel follows a group of young “Urban Indians” struggling to make sense of their identity

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Lifestyle

Male Harassment: How Serious Are We About It

Even google can’t pop up the harassment of men, then how can the world get to know that any inappropriate actions done to men are also harassment.

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You may take it as a joke when a gay or any guy touches another guy inappropriately without his consent but it is harassment.

Why don’t we understand the real meaning of equality?

Equality is when you give equal rights to both men and women & any wrong thing or action done to both of them is wrong. People are degrading the real meaning of feminism by spreading the other wrong concepts. Nowadays, being a feminist means you consider women superior to men and what everything is done by men is wrong. NO. Feminism is equality; no one is superior to the other gender.

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Despite the consequences that cause from sexual harassment whether it involves men or women, harassment is wrong. And harassment done on men is never taken seriously. It is being taken as a fun. Women deal with sexual harassment and there are a growing number of cases of both men and women harassing male employees have emerged and isn’t taken up that seriously.

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If we stand for the women, that doesn’t mean that we want to degrade men. We want equality between both of them and that should be the real motto of everyone’s life.  Safety of both the genders is necessary.

People should be aware of harassment among men & women both and also give proper knowledge to the people about what actually feminism is.

Some men don’t report about being sexually harassed because they’re afraid of being mocked and this is what our society does. When it’s done to women they show their fake grief and don’t take any further actions to stop that and when it’s being done to men, they take it as a joke.

The question is where is Humanity? Only humanity can lead to Equality and this is how the mind-sets of society grow.

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Lifestyle

What causes RAPE?

So men find the woman a seducer just because you can see her cleavage?

So the women are objects for men’s contentment?

Touching a woman without her consent is rape. There is no any other explanation, no any other justification that a man can touch a woman just because he’s her spouse or her boyfriend.

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As the girls grow older, they get used to these things and being a woman we inherit what is dictated to us-

~ Avoid drinking around men, you’ll get raped.

~ Avoid flaunting your body, you’ll get raped.

~ Don’t enjoy so much, you’ll get pregnant.

~ Don’t roam around at night, girls are not safe. (Khuli hui Tijori ho tum)

~ We should stop living instead, no? Haha!

We are told strangers are dangerous but, Can you please marry a stranger you don’t know? We are told “Aise hi Hota hai” even if our husbands try to get intimate even if we say NO.

Strangers are dangerous but our families don’t have any idea that the place in which we are living is also not safe for us.

The women are getting safety tips all over the world ~ Watch your drinks, you may let someone rape you. Watch your boundaries; you may be giving men the wrong signals for your character.

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Why don’t we tell men to control their lust for women and be well mannered? Why can’t, men respect a simple NO from women? Men feel superior to women and they think it is a woman’s right to make them feel content just for their pleasure.

Said by a judge, what we can expect from other humans then –

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Blame the Rapists, Not the Victims!

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Lifestyle

The relationship between body shaming and social media

After some research what the scientists have said that women are likely to feel worse about their body after seeing the pictures of other women. The online images have bad effect on young women and it changes the way they feel about their bodies, the confidence vanishes away.

The edited and the filtered images have a bad impact on the minds of the young women nowadays. The social media has actually pressured women to fit into society’s definition of beauty and perfection. The views that they have for their bodies and what they feel about themselves changes because they are more into fakeness of the social media rather being into themselves.

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The trends in social media change every day and so as the interests of the women. One day, social media will woe women to have big breasts and the other day, it will haunt women to have small breasts. The newest trend nowadays is to have a curvy body with a small waist. The new trends and the looks that come along into the society in what women tries to get into and feels ashamed if fails to fit into the society.

The social media is making women horribly uncomfortable which leads to low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

The social media targets women to suffer from body shaming and negativity. It leads to eating disorders among young girls in high school and the university.

If we take the plus-sized women’s example, ten years ago plus sized women typically ranged from size twelve to eighteen, now the size span ranges from size six to fourteen. The slim-slender women are called as “Models” but the chubby models are called as “plus-sized models” so why do the plus-sized models are not called as just “models”.

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Social media has an impact on the mental as well as physical health of the women. The women have no idea that how Photoshop play a great role in editing and removing the flaws from the images of the models. In some ways, Graphic Designers are to blame for this uprising of smaller sized women posted all over the media. These people are hired by editors to make models or people look a specific way.

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I strongly believe that if we try to inherit the looks and bodies of the models then we will be just robots, not what we actually are. If social media would try and produce more positive viewing of different body types, women would feel more comfortable and confident about the way they look. Social media plays a major role in our life now and women are considered nothing more than objects to social media, based on how their bodies are.

Social media needs to start taking into consideration the strong negative effects that influence societies the averaged sized women.

Every other celebrity goes through the shame situation after those ridiculous comments.

Sonam Kapoor shared her picture without makeup and what she said was remarkable-

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Lifestyle

IS BOLLYWOOD STILL ENTERTAINING YOU THROUGH ITS LOUD MISOGYNY AND OBJECTIFICATION??

Since our childhood, listening to such hyped songs and dialogues where women have been compared to mere an object has become user-friendly to our society. Besides, we don’t even feel offended when we ourselves listen to songs “Tu cheez badi hai mast mast” or” jumma chumma dede” etc. And you know why we don’t get bothered? For entertainment we can go to any extent, irrespective of its side effects, especially, young generation. Recently a song called Kalesh by Milind Gaba has been released where the lyrics say “Chodegi agar Tere ghar me aake kalesh karunga” No comments. Duh!!

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Instead of banning particular songs we enjoy them on dance floors. Do you individually think that it is cool when Shahid Kapoor in his one of the movies sang ‘Haan tujhpe right mera tu hai delight mera tera rasta jo roku chaukne ka nahi? Have you ever realized how bad the influence of movies and songs are on us? How badly it has been impacting our society especially boys and children? What are we learning from these grotesque item songs? We are the only one who is responsible for inciting industry to make such things even on higher scale. And all these things only lead to increasing rate of crimes because it has become our mentality that if in movies or songs it is acceptable then why can’t in real life?

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What we actually learn from movies

If a girl says NO, its hidden meaning is YES.

Heroism is winning a girl at the end either by hook or by crook.

If a girl comes late at night she must be characterless.

How to torture a woman to no set boundaries?

If a boy does mischievous actions with a girl, eventually, she will fall in love with him.

This thinking influences young boys to do the same because if their idol has done it in so and so movie so how can they stop following their God’s path. But in reality this never happens, it is the girl who suffers all the consequences, without any reason she has always been stamped as characterless because people say she must be wearing short clothes or showing latke-jhatke to incite that boy and the conclusion has to be obvious. Why do we suffer because some mentally sick people?

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We need to understand that there is a lot of difference between adaption and reality of anything. Film industry needs to wake up from their sleep and start showing the consequences too. Because girls are not meant to be teased or objectified, they are human and treat them alike. And this is just not acceptable.

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