Lifestyle

6. #WhyShouldiShutUp: My uncle wished me Happy Bday, then he raped me

I have always been told that the “Home is the safest place on Earth” but what I have experienced in my own home all these years, proved this statement wrong. I went through hell at my own home in presence of my so called ‘own’ people. My own family member killed my soul and I have been dead all through my life. I used to be a happy, chirpy and joyful kid but some incidents changed me into an isolated, grumpy and cantankerous human being.

Let me narrate my real story because I can’t take it anymore and I have to take this heavy burden off my chest.

I was only 12 and the favorite child in my family. I was smart, healthy, humorous and polite kid. At least that’s what I heard from everybody about me then. But things suddenly changed when an uncle of mine came over to our home to stay for a few months. On his very first day of entering our house I got this vibe that he is not a good person. The way he looked at me or rather my private parts made me highly uncomfortable. But he being an elder person and I being a 12 year old kid, I had to pay respect to him. He always looked at my private parts while talking to me, many a times he tried to touch me by showing his affection for me but I abruptly run away from him.

It was 12 February, my birthday. I was very excited and so was my family. My mom told me that after 12th Bday, I would be a powerful girl, it will be a new start f my great life. We all were planning how to celebrate my birthday. My mom and dad left me at home alone to shop for my birthday party. The creepy uncle was not in the town so I was more than excited on my Birthday. It was 2 pm when the doorbell rang; I thought may be some friend of mine is there to wish me Happy Bday so I hurriedly opened the door. To my shock and disappointment, it was the same creepy uncle who appeared after 2 days to surprise me on my birthday.

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He came inside and made me sit over his lap. Initially, I thought it was his fatherly love but the moment he got to know that nobody’s home he started kissing me here and there and all over my body. I was obviously feeling very weird but I went numb out of fear. I had no courage to question him about his doings. He started removing his clothes and forced me to remove mine too. He then lowered his underwear and tried to put something inside my vagina. I had no idea what was going on. I kept on kicking and punching him but he was too strong to get hurt from my tender hands. I was only a 12 yr old girl. I kept crying.

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He used his force and did something which gave me immense pain and with that pain came in the blood which shook me. I was trembling in pain and fear. But he kept on forcing himself on me and trying to go inside my vagina with that thing, over and over again until he got exhausted. I was lying on the floor naked in pain and agony whereas he was sleeping after doing god knows what. Then in an hour or so when he woke up, he threatened me saying if I tell anyone about this he would kill my entire family. My family was way more valuable and important for me compared to  my self-respect so I kept myself quiet throughout these years and this was not the only time I got raped, it went on and on.  I lived like a dead body and carried my dead soul all these years. How can someone be so cruel, emotionless and brutal to a kid just to have sexual pleasures?

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#MeToo: Rape within Family

How will you punish a father who rapes his own daughter, a brother who rapes his own sister or his own mother? Rape by own family members have become such a common news these days. The blood stops in the veins, the body freezes. What the world has come to? Who will punish the protectors who suddenly have turned into demons? They ruin innocent souls mercilessly. The victim, the poor girl does not get justice rather gets judged by other family members for not being very careful!

There have been so many incidents where family the so called ‘safe’ place have turned into a wild and dangerous emotionless jungle. Let me share some shocking stories with you.

A 14-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by a family member and got pregnant. During her pregnancy, all the members of the family tried to cover up the ruthless assault. The little girl was kept hidden from the society. The family members used to beat her up and jump on her stomach. The girl eventually gave birth and the baby was cruelly burnt on a charcoal grill according to the prosecutor of this case. Police arrested the suspects but what justice can be served to the little and 14 year old innocent soul. Will she ever be able to lead a normal life?

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A 9-year-old was raped by her own brother. People asked her ‘why didn’t she run away from him? She gave the innocent answer. She said that all kids get punishment for being naughty and she thought that her brother was beating her up.

In another real life incidence, a girl gets raped by her mother’s ex-husband. She had been raped till 17 by her stepdad. Then a man came into her life and after getting her pregnant he left her alone. Now she has got 18 year old son but her own family manipulates him and her son doesn’t even want to see her. She is all alone in life, dealing with her ordeal on her own.

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Another 15 year old girl says when a relative came and started staying in her house, he started raping her. She was extremely depressed and confused. She continued to be silent for many months. He threatened her by saying that if she tells anybody he would rape her siblings too. Irony is that her parents were running an NGO who worked for women’s right but their own daughter was not able to exercise her rights.

iChhori wants to be blunt and straight in saying that girls are not safe anywhere in this world even in their own families. Protectors have become destroyers. Be cautious, be protective and more importantly be safe. If anything bad happens to you, be strong and raise your voice. There are hands in the family which will tear your clothes off and on the other hand there are hands outside family who will protect you. Anything is possible in this unpredictable world. Be strong and be iChhori!

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#BreakFree: An Unexpected Gift

Google says that a gift is an item given to someone without the expectation of payment or anything in return, an item is not a gift it that item is already owned by the one to whom it is given to. She never felt that feeling of happiness of receiving the gift because she never had any gift even on her birthdays. Her father gave her left over food from his own plate and said, ‘I gave you more so are you happy now? Although gift-giving might involve an expectation to reciprocate, but she never could reciprocate because family never celebrated her birthday. In some countries, the act of mutually exchanging money, goods may sustain social relations and contribute to social cohesion. But her world seemed to lack this cohesion. Since her early childhood, she has seen so many birthday celebrations in her building. Yes, only in her building because she was not allowed to go out of the building so she could attend only a limited number of birthday parties.

Anklets: First gift of her life

Parents gave her a pair of anklets (payal), it was the first present of her life. She said, ‘but ma, why this? I wanted only books so that I could attend my classes.’ She was an innocent idiot because she knew that they won’t answer her question, they never did. She never knew that it was part of middle class culture and she felt like she was not given anklets but handcuffs. She was only 8. Whenever she saw the anklets in her little feet, she was unable to focus upon whatever she was doing. Her friends continuously asked her why she was not removing them, she kept quiet.

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Dupatta: Second gift of her life

On her 16th birthday her mother gifted her new red colour dupatta. She asked, ‘why dupatta mom? I wanted a school bag for my books so that books do not get wet in monsoon’. Everyone kept quiet. Her mother kept quiet too but probably knew her daughters feelings because she faced the same situation in her childhood.  The poor girl had no idea what was happening to her. She could not understand why a dupatta is more important than a school bag. She felt like she was in a prison. She was only 16 and her parents wanted her to stay inside the house and put on that dupatta all the times. They were planning to marry her off. Afterall, she was the oldest girl in her building.

Final call: A gift by her to her

One day, she decides to answer her own questions. She decides to listen to herself. She understood the difference between what she wanted and what her family wanted for her. She decided to dump her old life. She came back home and politely but firmly declared that she wanted to continue her studies. Her father got furious because how could she? A girl could not talk like that to her father. But she decides to use all her rights given by the constitution of India. She fought back and fought hard. She is an engineering student now. Her father is still upset with her but she doesn’t care much about it anymore. She believes in achieving the goal of her life. Her mother is still a victim, in fact she has been a victim since her childhood but mother has that sparkle of pride for her daughter. Mother is happy inside but still can’t show open support for her daughter, how can she? A wife cannot behave badly with her husband!

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