Lifestyle

6. #WhyShouldiShutUp: My uncle wished me Happy Bday, then he raped me

I have always been told that the “Home is the safest place on Earth” but what I have experienced in my own home all these years, proved this statement wrong. I went through hell at my own home in presence of my so called ‘own’ people. My own family member killed my soul and I have been dead all through my life. I used to be a happy, chirpy and joyful kid but some incidents changed me into an isolated, grumpy and cantankerous human being.

Let me narrate my real story because I can’t take it anymore and I have to take this heavy burden off my chest.

I was only 12 and the favorite child in my family. I was smart, healthy, humorous and polite kid. At least that’s what I heard from everybody about me then. But things suddenly changed when an uncle of mine came over to our home to stay for a few months. On his very first day of entering our house I got this vibe that he is not a good person. The way he looked at me or rather my private parts made me highly uncomfortable. But he being an elder person and I being a 12 year old kid, I had to pay respect to him. He always looked at my private parts while talking to me, many a times he tried to touch me by showing his affection for me but I abruptly run away from him.

It was 12 February, my birthday. I was very excited and so was my family. My mom told me that after 12th Bday, I would be a powerful girl, it will be a new start f my great life. We all were planning how to celebrate my birthday. My mom and dad left me at home alone to shop for my birthday party. The creepy uncle was not in the town so I was more than excited on my Birthday. It was 2 pm when the doorbell rang; I thought may be some friend of mine is there to wish me Happy Bday so I hurriedly opened the door. To my shock and disappointment, it was the same creepy uncle who appeared after 2 days to surprise me on my birthday.

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He came inside and made me sit over his lap. Initially, I thought it was his fatherly love but the moment he got to know that nobody’s home he started kissing me here and there and all over my body. I was obviously feeling very weird but I went numb out of fear. I had no courage to question him about his doings. He started removing his clothes and forced me to remove mine too. He then lowered his underwear and tried to put something inside my vagina. I had no idea what was going on. I kept on kicking and punching him but he was too strong to get hurt from my tender hands. I was only a 12 yr old girl. I kept crying.

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He used his force and did something which gave me immense pain and with that pain came in the blood which shook me. I was trembling in pain and fear. But he kept on forcing himself on me and trying to go inside my vagina with that thing, over and over again until he got exhausted. I was lying on the floor naked in pain and agony whereas he was sleeping after doing god knows what. Then in an hour or so when he woke up, he threatened me saying if I tell anyone about this he would kill my entire family. My family was way more valuable and important for me compared to  my self-respect so I kept myself quiet throughout these years and this was not the only time I got raped, it went on and on.  I lived like a dead body and carried my dead soul all these years. How can someone be so cruel, emotionless and brutal to a kid just to have sexual pleasures?

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Lifestyle

What causes RAPE?

So men find the woman a seducer just because you can see her cleavage?

So the women are objects for men’s contentment?

Touching a woman without her consent is rape. There is no any other explanation, no any other justification that a man can touch a woman just because he’s her spouse or her boyfriend.

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As the girls grow older, they get used to these things and being a woman we inherit what is dictated to us-

~ Avoid drinking around men, you’ll get raped.

~ Avoid flaunting your body, you’ll get raped.

~ Don’t enjoy so much, you’ll get pregnant.

~ Don’t roam around at night, girls are not safe. (Khuli hui Tijori ho tum)

~ We should stop living instead, no? Haha!

We are told strangers are dangerous but, Can you please marry a stranger you don’t know? We are told “Aise hi Hota hai” even if our husbands try to get intimate even if we say NO.

Strangers are dangerous but our families don’t have any idea that the place in which we are living is also not safe for us.

The women are getting safety tips all over the world ~ Watch your drinks, you may let someone rape you. Watch your boundaries; you may be giving men the wrong signals for your character.

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Why don’t we tell men to control their lust for women and be well mannered? Why can’t, men respect a simple NO from women? Men feel superior to women and they think it is a woman’s right to make them feel content just for their pleasure.

Said by a judge, what we can expect from other humans then –

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Blame the Rapists, Not the Victims!

pics: Google

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CAT- CALLING: DISTURBING ISSUE MOST WOMEN FACE

Many of us don’t even know the meaning of this word, however, faces this every random day. Cat Calling is an informal invitation given by men to women on the streets that too attached with lots of love in it where women are benefited with free offers of sex and any other pleasurable needs with no terms and conditions applied from their side.

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It seems like women are born just to get harassed by men with escaping no corners be it any street, neighborhood, workplace and oh! How can I forget the safest place, HOME, where most of the molestation takes place within four boundaries and in return, it turns the life of a girl into hell. From a survey it is concluded that a male gender gets attract towards a female gender when she starts getting hormonal change which appears physically like widening of hips, developing of breasts, appearance of pubic hair and growth spurt which make her mature enough to tempt but then how will we define the rape with a five year old and even with four and eight months old girl which has nothing to tempt? Is it true to say that its women who tempt men by their physical appearance or even by their dress up? It is not our fault that we are beautiful, instead, they should go all blind if they come up with this reference that women are the reason for increasing rapes in the country.

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Personally, I have never met a girl who would say that she has never been catcalled or harassed by men. It looks as if we have been bestowed with this copyright without asking for permission. Can you imagine how it feels like being touched by someone that too inappropriately, without your permission? And you don’t even realize if it is good or bad and hence, this is the place where parents lack. Talking about such topics in the typical Indian family is a taboo, so with lack of knowledge we tolerate it for years and then end up making it no less than a hell. What do you think till which end it is acceptable if we take it individually? If you are in a process of becoming a lady or already a lady then you will or must be facing problems where men try to touch you in multiple ways, try to pinch your ass, grab your boobs, feel your vagina, which definitely makes you start thinking that you would have done better with a DICK instead of  a vagina as it happens with every girl living next door, replace that thought by making it your strength and only by being strong you can conquer those douchebags living at every corner across the globe. Will it be acceptable by our society if we start intimidating guys verbally, like this?-

  • ‘Aye sexy, bada mast lag raha hai kahan chala?’
  • ‘Aye, kya maal hai tu to bhyi’
  • ‘16 ka dola 46 ki chhati hai kya janeman?’
  • ‘Are aaj to bahot garmi hogae hai dekho zara isko itna hot lag raha hai’
  • ‘Iske achhe hain…
  • ‘Aye baby bombshell’

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Will it? Yes, that is why it is unacceptable to girls as well. It is not cool to use words like slut, prostitute, and whore for a girl who says NO. And girls, if you start giving it back then only you will be able to stand for yourself, if a man looks at you do not get uncomfortable instead stare him back from head to toe, to show him that you are not afraid. Ignoring and walking away is not a solution, somewhere we need to take the risk and from there we can gradually change our surrounding.

It is not nice, none of it is nice.

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I am a Girl: I do not exist!

We are almost half of the world’s population. And we are also human beings, have the nations forgotten about us?  Every day you read about a rape case and people think that its common and normal thing nowadays.

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Females want an answer now if anyone can answer, how can killing a human or inserting a rod in your vagina be a common or normal thing? Are we not important to the country? Where are the political leaders who and ask for votes during the elections? Where are the people who march on the streets and act as the feminists or even the well-wishers of the female fraternity? Where are the men in uniform who are kept for the safety of the country but are even found involved in some of the cases? Where are the citizens who are lost in the darkness of the politics? If I wear a short skirt, I am raped. If I wear a diaper, I am raped. If I wear a burqua, I get raped. If I am in my teens I get raped. If I am a mom, I get raped. Even If I am a grand mom, I get raped. World is waiting for the day I will be in the cemetery, and I will be raped!

Every day you wake up and see a rape case, a rape case of a 5-year girl or a rape case of a 22-year-old girl or not even the rape of 65-year-old. Don’t the rapists have a mother, sister or a girl friend? We are the fools who live in the country where we worship and celebrate Navratri on the name of the goddess, a goddess who is a FEMALE God. Girls get raped by the bosses, pundits, god fathers and god men and its still on and on and on. And if a girl is raped, she stays put and keeps shut, because that’s what the society wants her to do.

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But I don’t need you or anybody else to tell me what’s to be done, did you support me when it happened to me? So stay shut. I don’t need a man, to pretend to be a nice one with a fake mask and rape me in the dark. I can stand on my own and fight the battle alone. My eyes don’t trust men anymore, I see every man with the doubt, and anyone can be a rapist. I don’t feel safe in my own house, my own city and in my own country. I would also want to tell I am a proud Indian, but only when I feel I am safe. My country is denoted with a name Bharat Mata (mother India), but Mata (mother) is raped every day.

I am not important; I am not a human being, I am not a living soul!

Pic credits: shutterstock

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Relationships, Video Gallery

#MeToo: Rape within Family

How will you punish a father who rapes his own daughter, a brother who rapes his own sister or his own mother? Rape by own family members have become such a common news these days. The blood stops in the veins, the body freezes. What the world has come to? Who will punish the protectors who suddenly have turned into demons? They ruin innocent souls mercilessly. The victim, the poor girl does not get justice rather gets judged by other family members for not being very careful!

There have been so many incidents where family the so called ‘safe’ place have turned into a wild and dangerous emotionless jungle. Let me share some shocking stories with you.

A 14-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by a family member and got pregnant. During her pregnancy, all the members of the family tried to cover up the ruthless assault. The little girl was kept hidden from the society. The family members used to beat her up and jump on her stomach. The girl eventually gave birth and the baby was cruelly burnt on a charcoal grill according to the prosecutor of this case. Police arrested the suspects but what justice can be served to the little and 14 year old innocent soul. Will she ever be able to lead a normal life?

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A 9-year-old was raped by her own brother. People asked her ‘why didn’t she run away from him? She gave the innocent answer. She said that all kids get punishment for being naughty and she thought that her brother was beating her up.

In another real life incidence, a girl gets raped by her mother’s ex-husband. She had been raped till 17 by her stepdad. Then a man came into her life and after getting her pregnant he left her alone. Now she has got 18 year old son but her own family manipulates him and her son doesn’t even want to see her. She is all alone in life, dealing with her ordeal on her own.

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Another 15 year old girl says when a relative came and started staying in her house, he started raping her. She was extremely depressed and confused. She continued to be silent for many months. He threatened her by saying that if she tells anybody he would rape her siblings too. Irony is that her parents were running an NGO who worked for women’s right but their own daughter was not able to exercise her rights.

iChhori wants to be blunt and straight in saying that girls are not safe anywhere in this world even in their own families. Protectors have become destroyers. Be cautious, be protective and more importantly be safe. If anything bad happens to you, be strong and raise your voice. There are hands in the family which will tear your clothes off and on the other hand there are hands outside family who will protect you. Anything is possible in this unpredictable world. Be strong and be iChhori!

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Crop Top or Crop Mind?

What do we girls like most in our lives? Whole world says that the favourite item in a girl’s life is the Diamond but I am pretty sure that it’s the wardrobe that she likes the most in her life. Just like other girls, my wardrobe is my favourite place where I keep all my favorite things such as my dresses, jewelry, bags, files and my heart!

We girls love to shop for new trendy dresses, don’t we? You can measure the personality of any girl by the way she keeps/manages her wardrobe but be careful; you can trouble her for many things but just cannot touch her wardrobe without her permission. And if she shows her wardrobe to you on her own, you must consider yourself very lucky indeed.

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All girls have one thing in common when it comes to their wardrobes. And that common element is that we all have trendy dresses which we love but hesitate to wear them when we want to. So, every girl has that one or two pairs of dresses which she buys with passion and excitement but feels very hesitant to wear because those dresses are short.

If girl wears short or even a bit revealing dresse, they get judged by so called society. And mind you that our own parents and family members are also part of that society. This is what has been happening in our society that people make you feel worthless if you choose your choice of YOUR OWN life. If the narrow-minded people stop thinking like this about us, so many girls who are trapped in their rooms, can go out, grow up and conquer the world. Are we a domain of these guys? They think girls wear clothes to lure boys. Well, let me tell you in simple words that we DON’T.

Girls like to wear trendy clothes to look beautiful and more importantly because it’s our choice. Those who comment on any girl’s dress, whether they are boys, girls, aunties or uncles, the problem is not in the dress or the girl, the problem is in the mind of these narrow-minded people. Do they even know that in ancient times, a woman never used to even wear a blouse? So, you guys really think that the rape cases, eve teasing, acid attacks have been happening because of our short dresses. The list of #MeToo goes on and on.

iChhori feels sorry for those narrow-minded people because they could not grow their mind morally or even otherwise. The problem is in the way they have been raised by their parents. In most of the families, we can see the difference in the way a boy is raised versys the female child. The women are taught to have to adjust for everything and females are forced to be nicer and more mannerly compared to the boys in the family. The men are raised like the lord of the nation by not even teaching the manners to respect their own sister and mother and the boys are given whatever they want and that too, instantly. This trend in the families is making the boys stubborn and when they need something their mind does not let them adjust until they get what they want. They force their way of life on others and hence they see short dresses as an act of cheapness and invitation for sex, rather rape!

Girls do not have crop top but people have crop mind!

Why a girl is forced to wear the dresses which cover her most of the body even if she is not comfortable in it. In my opinion, men and women have got equal right to choose what they want. Stopping them to achieve their own way of life is just not appropriate and it should not be acceptable. short dress is not an excuse for sexual harassment.

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When was the last time you heard about guy being a cheap one, just because he wore a short dress or went topless in public? Boys are allowed to go even nude and this is considered to be an act of heroics. While on the other side, girls are labelled as prostitutes, if they choose to wear the dress of their choice. What a great level of thinking and what a society we have been developing so far. It disgusts me to witness such double standard of our society. The men are supposed to be taking care of women, they are supposed to be standing by our sides, they are supposed to be pampering us for the life but we  get thrashed, raped and gang raped. A group of men force themselves onto a timid, scared, fragile and innocent girl and the society blames the girl for wearing the short dress. Those who call themselves men after such acts should bear in mind that the girl is the real men in the act, she fights a group of aggressive and uncontrollable men, bears all the pain and still stands up and moves on in life. You and your cheap thinking is not enough to stop her from rising up and standing tall!

 

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